24 July, 2011

Nasty Meat Tubes


The review which follows is ostensibly about "sausage," and thus it's important for readers to understand the distinction I make between "sausages" and "hot dogs."

It's true that franks, hot dogs, wieners, etc. are "sausages" in the strictest sense of the word.  But in my writing - and indeed, in most other frankfurtological literature - a more colloquial approach is taken, wherein the word "sausage" implies charcuterie items like kielbasa, Italian sausage, pepperoni, chorizo, bratwurst and so on, while the words "hot dog," "frank," "wiener," etc. implies those narrow little tubular meat products one eats on a bun at a ball game.

Sausage has traditionally been a kind of cheap eat; it called for strong seasonings and spices that would mask the less-desirable and sometimes somewhat "off" cuts of meat used to make it.  But as time has passed and food safety laws have been passed, sausage has come to be thought of as a worthy food in its own right.  And "hot dogs," that cheaper subset of sausages, have taken on an identity of their own - one that is not immediately associated with "sausages" in the public's mind.

Lynnafred is no friend of hot dogs. It might be the endless footage of cheap dogs my mom fed her when she was just a sprog.  I've no idea.  But when Maryanne and I are going to have dogs for supper - even really good, natural-casing snaps - Lynnafred is  not interested.  I usually get her an alternative tubesteak.  The various excellent chicken sausages made by Aidells Sausage Company, for example, are among her favorites.

It was with this in mind that I bought a package of Thin n Trim Garden Vegetable variety Chicken Sausage by Demakes Enterprises in Lynn MA. They looked pretty decent, and the "garden vegetable" ingredients (onions, bell peppers, carrots, and celery) offered a flavor profile that I know Lynnafred has enjoyed in the past.

Unfortunately, what was promised was not delivered.

These are little more than fancily packaged crap-quality chicken hot dogs. They taste like the cheapest, most nasty dollar-store skinless chicken wieners you've ever had.  Calling these "chicken sausage" is just bullshit.

The dogs liked them.  Buy them for your dogs.

Other lies on the packaging:  That color photo of onions, basil, garlic, and tomatoes? There aren't any tomatoes or garlic in the ingredients, not even in the part that lists the "2% or less of" section.  Maybe the tomatoes and garlic are part of the "flavorings" also listed on the label. 


J. Astro said...

But... but... it SAY "tastes great - HONESTLY" right there on the packaging!!! Are you accusing of them of being -less- than honest? ;)

steve06082 said...

Exactly. "Tastes Great," constitutes a false or misleading statement.

Frank Yensan said...

Being of mostly German parenting, sausage is more than food to me, sausage is comfort food. Good sausage is art form, bad sausage is a crime equal to murder and rape in my book.
Chicken sausage, now that is something created by Satin himself. Avoid it at all costs. Your soul is worth more than alternative to the real thing.

Anonymous said...

I strongly disagree with your analysis here. You are comparing 2very different products. Thin 'n Trim chicken sausages are very lean (2 grams of fat) and very low in sodium. Aidells is twice as expensive, has 5 times the fat, and 3 times the sodium. It might as well be a pork sausage. The reason consumers by chicken sausage is to have a healthier alternative. Thin n' Trim is the only brand to use breast meat, which is very lean and can be dried out if cooked too long. If you are going to make opinionated comparisons, you might want to compare like products.