Homemade Dog Treats

Have you ever given your dog those dried chicken strips for a treat? Dogs go crazy for those things. My dog Zim (seen here flapping his lips by hanging out the sunroof of the car) would do just about anything for a bit of dehydrated chicken.

There are two big problems with store-bought dried chicken treats, though: they're mad expensive and - far more importantly - lax production standards in China, where so many of the treats are made, result in products that can potentially kill your dog. I stopped buying imported animal treats several years ago when word first started circulating about the problem, and it hasn't gotten any better since.

Luckily, there is a huge supply of dog treats available to you at an extremely reasonable cost of time and treasure, and you need look no further than local supermarkets.

The answer is right there in the poultry section. The raw materials are inexpensive, dehydrate quickly with little risk of spoilage, have an insanely long shelf life at room temperature once they've been processed, and are not only low in fat but provide your dog with calcium. And they're crunchy as hell, which seems to be really important to dogs - if you've ever seen the way a teething puppy crackles an empty water bottle, you know how much dogs love stuff that crunches between their jaws.

I'm talking about chicken feet, or "chicken paws," as I've seen them hilariously packaged. They start out being low in moisture, consisting mostly of skin, tendons, and bone, so they dry well and keep a long time. While most everyone knows that you're not supposed to give dogs cooked chicken bones because of the danger that they'll splinter, that doesn't apply to raw bones, which help provide dogs with essential nutrients which their canine guts are especially keen at extracting. These treats aren't cooked, they're dried, so they're safe. And of course, they're not made in some anonymous Chinese industrial plant so you know exactly what your dog is eating.

The first step is to acquire a few pounds of chicken feet. Most of your suburban white-bread supermarkets will not carry them, so seek them out at more urban or ethnic locations. Asian markets are ideal, and usually the least expensive. When I make these (which is at least once every couple of months since I always give some away to friends with dogs) I try to get two heavy packages of them, five pounds or so.

Chicken feet are rather cool and prehistoric-looking with big nails and scaly reptilian skin. And there's usually tendons sticking out of the cut ends. If you hold the chicken foot in one hand and pull on the tendons with the other, the toes will curl like some kind of gruesomely beckoning marionette. [My grandmother once told me that when she was a girl, she would take one of the feet of a freshly-killed chicken and do exactly that with it, chasing her squeamish and screaming older sister around the house with the monstrous gripping claw.]

Anyway,  once you get the packages home, open them up and give them a rinse. If you have a child around, show them how those tendons work - the kid will be fascinated and horrified and probably want to try it themselves, and you should let them as long as you have them wash their hands when they're done, because it's fun.

Okay, so that part about kids and tendons is optional, but rinsing shouldn't be. Rinse them off and then pat them dry. Then, using kitchen shears, cut off the toenails. If you cut straight through the toe at the base of the nail, you'll go right through a joint and it's easy. If you cut through bone, it's still easy, it just gives a bit more resistance. I take the nails off, even though I just told you a few paragraphs ago that raw chicken bones are okay, because they're sharp. Most of the nails are like needles, and they don't get any blunter when they're dehydrated. So just to be safe, I remove them.

Next, I arrange them in single layers on the trays of my dehydrator. It's okay if they touch, but you don't want them packed tightly against each other because they need room for air to circulate around. Use as many dehydrator trays as you need, put the cover on, plug it in, and let it do its magic. I rotate the trays bottom to top once or twice a day.

After three days, open up the dehydrator and check them out. They should be totally dry to the touch and rather stiff. If they feel at all pliable and leathery, they're not ready.

It usually takes three or four days for them to all dry out. You'll have a large enough supply for at least two months, feeding your dog one of these treats twice a day or so, and trust me he'll love them.

When you buy dehydrated chicken feet ready-to-eat online or at retail stores, they can cost as much as $45 a pound (they're often put up five or six to a package and that package costs up to 10 dollars!) I buy the feet for $1.29 a pound around here, so for six or seven dollars I make a bag full of them that would retail for about $75.

PS: If you're really lucky, you can find duck feet as well as chicken. They're a little meatier and more substantial than chicken feet, but you process them the same way. Usually they run about 20 - 25 cents a pound more expensive than chicken feet; you'll have to decide for yourself if that's worth it.


Where to find a dehydrator:

You can get one at many Walmarts or hardware stores, in the canning section. You can spend a couple hundred dollars on these things, believe it or not, but you can also order one inexpensively on Amazon. Or you can do what I did and pick one up at a church rummage sale or estate sale. Many people buy one, use it a couple of times, and then get rid of it. I've bought three or four of them secondhand like that, all the same make, and put the trays together to make one bigass dehydrator for making dog treats, jerky, dried herbs, and so on.

Dog vs. Skunk

Zim is allowed on the couch when he hasn't been tangling
with polecats.

So I let the dog out last night and shortly thereafter the house started to fill with the smell of skunkfunk. Seconds later, the back door slammed shut and in ran the dog, circling around like mad and licking his muzzle (yeah, the dog knows how to open doors, so he was dragging the smell through the house before I could trap him in the bathtub.)

As much as he hated it, he got a deodorizing bath and now he's (mostly) skunk-free - but I didn't want to get the bath concoction in his eyes, so he's still a little stinky around the top of his muzzle.

If one of your domestic animals (this category includes kids) gets sprayed by a skunk, forget the old saw about washing them in tomato juice. Setting aside the fact that tomato juice doesn't work, think of the cost. You'd need like a dozen cans of that stuff to thoroughly bathe a dog/child. Instead, use this:

Anti-Skunk Dogwash

1 quart 3% hydrogen peroxide

1/4 cup baking soda

1 tablespoon dishwashing detergent

Combine ingredients in a shallow pan and swirl around briefly until the baking soda is mostly dissolved. Apply it immediately to the dog, working it into his fur and giving him a really thorough washing. The combination of hydrogen peroxide and baking soda breaks down the chemicals in the skunk spray and renders them odorless, and the dishwashing detergent helps carry away the residue. Rinse the dog really well and if he's still funky, mix up another batch and do it again.

A couple additional tips:

• Dawn dishwashing detergent is gentle and very effective for this. But if you don't have it, use what you've got. When your dog smells like a tear gas grenade just exploded at your feet, you don't have time to go running to the store for a special brand of detergent.
• Try to keep the wash out of the dog's eyes. When I wash Zim's muzzle, I use an old sponge so I can keep the bathwater where I'm aiming it.
• Mix a batch up fresh when you need it. Don't mix it up ahead of time! The mixture is not stable - it gives off gas when it's blended - and trying to trap it in a closed container will cause pressure inside the bottle to build until it explodes.

I finished Zim off with a peppermint soap shampoo. Now he's ashamed to go out and meet other dogs because he's afraid the big bulldog up the street is going to call him a sissy.

Tasty Bull Foreskin Snacks

A few years ago, I thought it would be hilarious to make beef jerky out of bull penises and market them under the brand name "Pizzle Sticks." My wife, however, thought less of this idea than I did and so the concept went no further than a couple of rude pencil sketches.

Just as well, I guess, since I found out that pet snack companies have already been doing this for years. The snacks are called "bully sticks," and the packaging usually says that they're made from "100% beef bully," presumably because the companies aren't run by people like me with a 10-year-old's sense of humor.  The snacks aren't at all dicklike - they just look like rawhide rods with surprisingly small diameters. It got me to thinking, trying to imagine what the companies were doing with the rest of the "bullies." You know, the parts that are dicklike which they have to cut off.

 Voilà!

On a recent trip to Bogner Meats in Manchester CT, I found dog treat "grab bags" that were filled with various rawhide and dried animal bits left over from trimming enormous offal-based jerky snacks into comfortably-unidentifiable puppy chews. Of course, that means that some of the trimmings are identifiable. Very identifiable. Also very inexpensive: a sack of trimmings is about a month's worth of nightly Quiet Time Treats for my two dogs and it only costs about ten bucks. (Compare that to pet-store-purchased pig ears - at one a day per dog, I only get about 2 weeks out of a bag that costs nearly $30.)

Because the pecker ends are so dense when they are turned into rawhide like that, they're very dense and keep the dogs busy for about an hour whenever they get one. And judging by the way they will perform a circus' worth of tricks to get one, they're apparently delicious.

Dentley's Natural Flavor Toobles Dog Snacks

My dogs, Zim and Iris, are spoiled. They've become used to a regular schedule, and they bug the hell out of me if there's any variation to it. So., every morning (including weekends and holidays) they want to go out at 5:00 AM, followed by breakfast at 5:30.  At night, they want their supper at 5:00 PM, followed by out at 6:00 PM, and a snack by 7:00.

I don't give them a lot of other treats, so the snack they get at 7:00 is usually something that takes them a little while to gnaw through - a slice of raw marrow bone, a pig ear, or something like that. As long as it's something that entertains them for a while as well as tastes good, they're happy. And believe me, on the few times I've run out of things for their evening snack, they're not happy, and they let me know it (usually by sitting in front of me, staring at me with big, miserable, liquid eyes while whining piteously. They can certainly be pains in the ass when they're missing their SNACK.)

At eleven years old, Zim's teeth are starting to get a little fragile, so I've backed off on the marrow bones lately, trying to go with other things he likes, like pig ears. But this weekend, I found some stuff that was so bizarre I couldn't resist buying a couple packages to see whether the dogs would like a little variety.

I was in the snack aisle, and noticed packages of things labeled "Toobles."  They were tubes.  I picked up the package and looked inside...and thought, "Hey, those look like windpipes."  And then in fine print near the bottom of the package, I found it: "Beef esophagus."  They are windpipes!  Totally awesome.  Like I said, i couldn't resist them.

Zim enjoying a cow throat. I tried to get a picture of
Iris doing the same, but she wouldn't stay still long
enough. She likes to play with her food.

The dogs couldn't resist them, either. They loved 'em. To me, they smelled like run of the mill rawhide but with little rings of connective tissue holding the dried meat parts together. But to Zim and Iris, they were manna. And surprisingly, it took them quite a while to chomp through them, so they got the same amount of satisfaction from them as they do from bones.

So, if you're looking for something a little different for the dawg, give them a try. I found them at the local PetSmart, but you may have to do some searching of your own to turn them up.

No Grainers Dog Treats

Iris and Zim are currently brushing up on their Dumb Dog Trick routine, encouraged by No Grainers Dog Treats,  I found them at Stop & Shop over the weekend, and the dogs seem to love them 

Unlike the majority of dog foods and treats on the market today, No Grainers don't contain any grain fillers.  I like that, because dogs aren't cattle and don't really have any business eating a lot of corn meal (which they can't digest.)  I feed them a premium meat-based kibble made without cornmeal and their usual snacks are dehydrated poultry.  The No Grainers I bought are made primarily from pork so I thought it would be a nice change in taste. Plus, they're little bite-size things so I can use them as training incentives.  Both dogs are highly "treat motivated."

Enlarged to show detail, as they say.

As it turns out, both dogs really love No Grainers and their Natural Pork Protein.  I gave one a try just to see what the appeal was, and as usual, I've discovered that "the dogs like it" is a crappy yardstick for whether or not I'll enjoy eating something.  (Note that this index is not reciprocal.  If I can stand to eat something, no matter how vile, it's almost guaranteed that the dogs will eat it, too.)

Anyway, I ate one and it was pretty disgusting;   a little rancid-tasting, kind of livery, a little porky.  To me, not very appetizing.  Zim and Iris, however, would give it a solid thumbs-up if only they had thumbs.

The bag points out (several times) that the treats are made with real pork protein, and this is illustrated with a picture of a sad-looking pig gazing up at something.  Maybe he's looking at the big steel hooks moving along the chain track on the ceiling. Hahahaha.

Welcome, Iris!

Sorry - I never got around to a Vintage Sunday post today, because we've been a little busy acclimating a new dog to the family.  Meet Iris:

Zim has seemed happiest lately in the company of his canine BFFs, so for the past four or five months, I've been keeping an eye open for a likely companion for him.  Iris, abandoned and subsequently incarcerated in a nearby dog pound, fit the bill.

There's an age difference - Zim, at almost seven years old, is approaching doggie middle age, and Iris is barely a year old judging by her build and her teeth - and sometimes her youthful exuberance makes him a bit grumpy.  But when they're out in the back yard running around together, it doesn't take more than a playful pounce by Iris to get the two of them romping and tumbling about together.

Anyway, we brought her home yesterday and for the past couple of days we've been pretty busy doing all the stuff we need to do to help a new dog feel welcome and an old dog know he's not being replaced.  Iris seems to be housetrained, so that's been pretty cool.  She's adapting pretty well to the feeding and bedtime schedule, too.  And it took less than a day to figure out how to open the screen door to the back yard to let herself out.

I'm glad we found her, with her wonky right ear that always kind of stands up, and her pale green eyes and her happy, goofy personality that reminds us of Dug from the movie Up.  She's definitely a keeper.

The Beggin' Bacon Bash on International Bacon Day

This is my dog, Zim. He would do just about anything for
bacon, including pose for fhis ridiculous photo.

International Bacon Day falls on September 4 this year  It's a whimsically ridiculous holiday, but it's gained momentum over the years because - let's face it - virtually everyone loves bacon.  As a dog owner, I can attest to the fact that dogs love bacon just as much as people do.

Purina, the makers of Beggin’® brand dog snacks, knows it too. To help dogs and their owners celebrate International Bacon Day together, they've invited renowned chef Kevin Gillespie to host a bacon-themed party in Cincinnati, which will also include an attempt at the Guinness World Record for "loudest group bark." Sounds pretty awesome, yes?   Check out this press release I got today.  What a hoot:

ST. LOUIS (Aug. 23, 2010) – The day dogs have been waiting for has finally arrived – a day to celebrate their passion for bacon! On Saturday, Sept. 4, in observance of International Bacon Day, Beggin’® is inviting all the four-legged, pork-loving maniacs to attend the Beggin’® Bacon Bash and declare their obsession for bacon.

This dog-friendly family event will take place from 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. at the Blue Ash Recreation Center, 4433 Cooper Rd., in Cincinnati, which is one of the largest pork-producing cities in the United States. The Beggin’ Bacon Bash will feature special cooking demonstrationsby Kevin Gillespie, a finalist on Bravo’s “Top Chef” reality show known for incorporating pork into almost every signature dish.

“I’m a huge fan of the pig, and I’m crazy about bacon in particular, so I couldn’t be more excited to be hosting this event with Beggin’®,” said Gillespie, who is currently the co-owner and executive chef at The Woodfire Grill in his native Atlanta. “I’ll be sharing some of my favorite pork dishes with other bacon-lovers and hope to inspire them to embrace pork within their own cooking. Let’s get the party started!”

Beggin’® Bacon Bash will feature live music and activities for both two-legged and four-legged bacon lovers. For the humans, All Pro Eating will sanction a bacon-eating contest as well as other hands on activities such as a Beggin'® Canadian Cuts toss. For the furry friends, there will be a canine costume contest for the most bacon-inspired costume and a bacon maze and bacon race. In addition, the Purina® Incredible Dog Team will perform canine agility and dock diving presentations. Local dog owners are also invited to bring their dogs to participate in an attempt to set a new Guinness World Record for the “loudest group bark” to officially declare their love for bacon.

“Because dogs – and their owners – share a hilarious obsession for bacon, Beggin’ wanted to create an exciting, dog-friendly event for the entire family that’s all about bacon,” said Stephen Trammell, assistant brand manager, Nestlé Purina Dog Snacks brand pet food. “There’s no better way to celebrate International Bacon Day.”

For additional information about the events and attractions at the Beggin’ Bacon Bash, visit www.beggintime.com.

That sounds like a great time, and even if you can't get to Cincinnati for the fun you can still have a good time with Beggin' dog snacks.  The friendly folks at Purina are sending me three coupons for Beggin' snacks, and I'm going to give them away to YOU.  Just send an email to me - daves.cupboard [at] gmail [dot] com with the subject line "Beggin" and your name in the body of the email, and you'll be entered to win.  I'll hold the drawing on Saturday, September 4 - International Bacon Day - at RANDOM.ORG and three lucky entrants will each win a coupon.

Note:  The press release and coupons are provided by Purina.  I am receiving no compensation for this post or the coupon giveaway - all expenses involved are coming out of my pocket.

Steer Sticks (A Dog Treat)

They're called "Steer Sticks" and the tag on them says "Dogs ♥ ♥ ♥ Them."  The tag also said that the sole ingredient was Bull Pizzle.  How awesome is that?  It didn't look very pizzly - just a long piece of rawhide with some meaty stuff inside.   I bought one  labeled "Extra Large;  to my human nose, it didn't smell like anything special.  Not that I'd really be able to tell (I'm not really an authority on animal penes.)  But when I took it out of the bag at home, I immediately had Zim's attention.

He took the snack and trotted off into the living room to relax with his delicious pizzle and he had it chowed down within a half hour.

OM NOM NOM

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Nutrish

So Rachael Ray has her own brand of dogfood.  How appropriate.  The jokes just write themselves.

One for the Dogs: Alpo Chop House Originals

In a bit of a departure today, I'm going to review a dog food: Alpo Chop House Originals. Now, my dog Zim has been raised on Pedigree dry kibble with a dollop of Pedigree canned food mixed in and I rarely buy any other brand. I made an exception this time because of the interesting flavors - filet mignon, New York strip, and ribeye no less - and the fact that displayed prominently on the front of the can is a badge that says "WITH ANGUS BEEF" thereby officially signaling that this whole "Angus beef" thing has totally jumped the shark and needs to die right now.

Believe me, the parts of an Angus-breed cow that wind up in a can of dog food are not going to be significantly better than any other cow chunks. And as far as the fancy flavors go, the ingredient list tells a different story: Water, chicken and beef "by-products," soy, and cornmeal make up most of the composition. Way down the label, they list something called "filet mignon flavor," or "ribeye flavor," and so on. It's hard for me to believe that anything other than the label design is "premium" here. Alpo's website is of little help, by the way. I guess pet food companies aren't required to offer actual ingredient lists for their offerings the way human foods are.

By the way, I did taste the filet mignon variety. It wasn't anything special. It didn't taste all that "filet mignony" to me - more liver-like than anything, with lots of mealy grit mixed in. I couldn't get enthusiastic about it, but Zim got really excited by the smell; seems Alpo knows how to get a dog drooling.

Something in the mix didn't agree with the poor boy, though. The day after I started mixing Alpo with his kibble he started scratching all the time - a kind of ridiculous "stop in the middle of everything you're doing, stand there on three legs with a dumbass expression on your face, and scratch everything you can reach with that fourth leg" kind of scratch that was cramping his usual routine of chasing squirrels, barking at passing cats from the second floor windows, and sleeping on the couch. A couple days after going back to his usual rations, he was his old self again - we donated the leftover cans to the local food bank.

Alas, no more Alpo Chop House Originals for Zim, no matter how much he likes them. While I can't recommend them as a "premium" dog food (Alpo seems to be relying a lot on weasel words and hype to sell this line) I know the pooch really loved the flavor and his seeming allergic reaction to them is probably unique to him; so, if you can find it on sale, you might want to give it a try. I mean, your dog might want to give it a try.
Link:

Alpo's website.

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Butcher's Selects?

That juicy rare steak on the label of this dogfood sure does look delicious, doesn't it? But when you open the can, all you'll find is some spongy little chunks of "meat" in a thick brown gravy. The "gravy" is kind of bland, but the "meat" tastes like really cheap beef bouillon.

It's called "Butcher's Select, " but I can't say that I'd select this stuff if I were a butcher. My dog sure loves it though.

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Palm Liver Spread

I'm a big fan of liver spreads and patés, so when I saw this interesting-looking half-pound tin at the Asian market for a little over a dollar, I couldn't resist.

There is, of course, a reason why a reasonably decent tin of paté weighing one-fourth as much as this can sells for more than twice as much, and it's not because Palm is a bargain.

Made with beef liver and some assorted fillers, the texture is coarse and granular - almost gritty - and the flavor is overwhelming and a bit urinous (perhaps some kidney got mixed in there somewhere?) A few smears on a neutral cracker was all I could take of this nastiness.

My dog, however, had no such misgivings. From the instant I opened the can, he was at my side, sniffing the air and scouting out an opportunity to have a taste. I gave him a little bit of the spread, and it immediately became his favorite food.

Two ounces of the liver spread, mixed with a cup of his dry kibble twice a day, ensured that the dog belonged to The Clean Plate Club for two days running. I've rarely seen him so fond of anything from a can.

Natural Lamb Lung Tender Chips

Picked up these doggy treats in Wal-Mart yesterday. They were so bizarre, I could not resist. Sergeant's Uncle Sam's brand Natural Lamb Lung Tender Chips. Ingredients: Lamb lung. That's it. No preservatives, no salt, no added flavors. Just slices of lamb lung, apparently freeze-dried.

I gave a chunk to Zim (the family dawg, named for cartoon character Invader Zim.) He carried it over to his bed, chewed it a little, then nosed it around the floor like he was trying to figure out what it was. Finally, he got around to eating it.

Hmmm. Strange reaction from a dog that even eats green olives. So I decided to eat a piece myself.

There isn't much to these "chips." They seem to be made of randomly cut chunks of something, but if you've never seen a lung before you might not be able to immediately identify it. Light as a feather and rather inorganic in texture (reminiscent of styrofoam.) They smell like liver and rawhide. Biting into one strengthens the styrofoam comparison, and points up the lack of salt or other seasoning. There is a faint livery taste with a strong cardboard finish. The freeze-dried tissue sort of wets down into a slippery rehydrated mass that is not nearly as pleasant as the light and crunchy initial bite. As a "people snack" they leave a lot to be desired.

Sometimes strange or filthy dog treats have a warning that the food is "not for human consumption." This package doesn't. Old laws intended to help stop the spread of tuberculosis in the US forbid the sale of animal lungs as food for people. It does, however, carry the curious note:

As with any dog treats, wash hands with soap and water after handling.

I can't quite figure that out. I suppose there are some cleanfreak weirdos out there that scrub their hands after handling just about anything, but why would a dog food company want to give them validation?

Also, I guess you're supposed to watch your dog eat. The other warning on the label says:

CAUTION: For supervised consumption only. Remove and discard if your pet attempts to swallow large pieces or chunks.

Mini Gummy Bear-BQs

These are gummy bears for dogs, flavored with "Assorted Natural Flavors:" Savory Beef, Hickory Bacon, BBQ Chicken. I bought a small 1.75-ounce package at PetCo last time I was there as a treat for my dog. He hated them, and now I know why.

Being real gummies, they start with the usual gummy ingredients: sugar, food starch, coloring. So remember that although I won't directly say it again in the individual flavor reviews, they are sweet. Very, cloyingly sweet, worse than usual gummies. Plus they stick to my teeth (gummies aren't supposed to do that.)

Here goes:

Savory Beef Bear: Tasted sort of like that beefwater that leaks out of cheap hamburger when it's fried, and I don't mean the fat. Bright red. I got sick of the flavor of these after about one of them. It was the best of the three, so feel free to be afraid now.

BBQ Chicken Bear: Bright yellow, predominate flavor was an appallingly sweet barbecue sauce which could have been candied tomatoes for all the subtlety of flavor in these things. Slight background hint of cheap chicken bouillon (we're talking Smack Ramen Noodle Flavoring cheap.)

Last, and trust me, least: Hickory Bacon Bear. Orange. Smokey with a capital "smuh" and not much other flavor except for the sugar. These are so smokey that they taste like an ashtray, or a sip of bongwater, and they taste nothing like bacon at all.

Overall: nasty.

Oh, and the producers are illiterate, too. There shouldn't be an apostrophe in "Bear-BQ's."