05 February, 2012

Toaster Pastry Heaven

Recently spotted at Big Lots: huge, 48-count boxes of Pop-Tarts!  Each of these wastebasket-sized packages contain six times the standard number of sugary, crusty frosted delights - 24 each of frosted strawberry and nutritionally-defunct Brown Sugar Cinnamon.  It's POP-TART HEAVEN!

For a long time, Brown Sugar Cinnamon was my favorite variety of Pop-Tart.  While it's true that no Pop-Tart is exactly the epitome of healthy eating, Brown Sugar Cinnamon is almost the perfect storm of empty calories. There isn't even the pretense of fruit there to make Mom feel less guilty about abandoning breakfast to The Big K. It's kind of like the Pop-Tart development team said, "You know what? The hell with it! Skip the fruit jam and let's just fill some of 'em up with sugar! That's what the little bastards really want anyway. And put frosting on it, too."

They were right. When I was a little bastard, I LOVED Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts, and my cruel heartless mother would hardly ever buy them. (I think she said something like, "You're not getting that shit for breakfast.")


Lyn said...

Hi Dave, I just wanted to let you know that my mother never bought Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts for me; I still can't figure out how in the world I realized that I loved them, since I never had them. She thought that a chocolate-sugared Harris Bakery donut and a glass of milk was a better breakfast for me to have to prepare me for the six-mile walk to school. Anyway, it sounds like you have a fondness for Pop-Tarts (But, seriously, Kellogg's, bring back the Pumpkin Pop-Tarts...)! Unfortunately, I can only eat a half of one now or else I get a sugar high and start sneezing uncontrollably. Have you seen the recipes: http://www.poptarts.com/recipes YUM. Thanks for skinny on the Big Lots deal. My big question is: do they ever go bad? Lyn

Marisa said...

Holy cow, you weren't kidding - one pastry (not one package) is 210 calories meaning if a kid ate two of these for breakfast that's a crapload of sugar/simple starches. Not wonder they can't pay attention in school.

Anonymous said...

Back in elementary/middle school, a usual breakfast of mine consisted of a chocolate fudge pop tart nommed on the way to the bus stop. Sometimes I would set it in the microwave for a few seconds; can you believe that I've actually never had a pop tart made in the toaster? I've had them plain, microwaved, and even frozen but never toasted haha!

Have you ever set a Chocolate Chip (that, Chocolate Fudge, along with Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough are my top three. Oh, shoot, is there room for Cookies and Creme in that list) pop tart in the microwave? Since it's not frosted, the chocolate filling starts to bubble out from the top of the pastry. Oh my gosh yes. :D

Mike in Poolesville said...

Remember these from my summer camp days. PT's and orange juice for breakfast after camp outs.
Like serving rocket fuel and...uh... more rocket fuel?
This was a great way of filling in the breakfast requirement without having to cook.

Your right, Dave. Brown Sugar Cinnamon was the best. But really, a box of 48! What are you doing?
Re-shingling your house?

IrishLass said...

Nice deal! Now if only I could get them to have the Brown Sugar Cinnamon packaged with my main favorite: S'mores ones. I dunno, the gooey marshmallow chocolate filling is just awesome