General Mills Simply Fruit snacks

The best surprise you could give Child Me was a packet of fruit snacks in my lunchbox. It was as close as you could get to giving me magic every lunch. Well, some things never change. I still love fruit snacks, but I'm a little more careful about them now. A lot of fruit snacks - while undeniably tasty - are also full of things that have nothing to do with fruit.

General Mills is changing that with their Simply Fruit line of fruit snacks.

The two varieties of Simply Fruit snacks that I've seen are Fruit Roll-Ups and Twists. The Fruit Roll-Ups are extremely reminiscent of the all natural fruit rolls that Dave used to get me when I was a kid. Child Me liked them more for their sticky, real-fruit taste instead of the plasticlike texture of regular brand name Fruit Roll-Ups, and these Simply Fruit ones are just like the offbrand organic ones he got me then, right down to the way they leave my hands sticky and a little gross feeling after I'm done eating them.

The Twists are a little easier to eat, because I can leave them in the wrapper as I nom them. These are also really good: full flavored and real tasting, almost overpoweringly fruity, and not at all sickeningly sweet.

The best part about these? They're the same price as their artificially flavored, plastic-y brethren. Each roll/twist is made of all natural ingredients with no bullshit or questionable qualities to them. Fruit juices and purees, fruit pectin, and natural flavor is all that goes into these babies, and it shows. The end result is a solid fruit snack that kids will like and grown ups can approve of. (And enjoy themselves if you're like me.)

Each roll has 50 calories; each twist has 60.

Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon

Knowing how much we love Wheat Thins, Nabisco knew that we were perfect to take their limited-edition Sweet Cinnamon Wheat Thins for a test drive.

These are a perfect blend of sweet and salty. Think cinnamon-sugar toast with butter. Or Cinnamon Toast Crunch with salt. Or, you know, cinnamon rolls without icing.

You know what? Think of cinnamon. Think of salt. Now combine that with a tablespoon of awesome and think of Wheat Thins. These are great for snacking right out of the box, and especially fantastic when paired with a cheesecake dip or a small smear of vanilla icing. They're even good topped with a slice of cheddar. These little guys are versatile and perfect for the holidays.

Unfortunately, they're only available for a limited time, so get them while they're here.

Archway Cookies: Holiday Edition!

Last year, the awesome folks at Archway sent us their line of holiday cookies to review. They were completely amazing, and this year, the generous folks at Archway has surprised us yet again with a sampling of their holiday cookies. We got them just before the snowstorm, so they were a delicious, sweet way to forget that we didn't have lights.

These cookies are just as delicious now as they were then. We were given a sampling of Wedding Cakes, Pfeffernusse, Iced Gingerbread, and Gingerbread Men.

The Wedding Cakes are almost as delicious as my grandmother's: a sugar-coated, melt-in-your-mouth treat studded with Brazil nuts and baked to perfection. These are definitely my favorite of the bunch, but then again, I'm biased - these cookies have a huge emotional connection attached to them.

Next up are the Pfeffernusse, which are slightly spicy and almost licorice-tasting with hints of cinnamon, cloves, and raisins (which is not at all surprising, seeing as there's raisin paste added to them.) Chewy and (also) rolled in powdered sugar, these are another delightful treat to have with coffee or tea.

Next, we have two variations on one of my favorite holiday cookies: gingerbread. Dave and I used to make gingerbread houses when I was a kid: huge, elaborate, Necco-wafer-shingled Victorian-esque houses with melted lollipop windows and Twizzler fences. (The best part was eating it.) But I digress. Archway's gingerbread cookies are just as good as any I can make, if not better. The crunchy gingerbread men are a perfect go-with for hot chocolate, and the softer iced gingerbread cookies practically scream wintertime at you as you eat them.

If you've never had any Archway holiday cookies, you're seriously missing out. They're truly "just like homemade" and are just as worthy of a spot at your holiday gatherings as the ones your family makes. Archway holiday cookies should be available at your local grocery store now.

We're Back! (Mostly)

The power outage has been a pretty busy time for us. Not to worry, we have power back, and now that we're more or less settled back into normalcy, posts can start to be expected again. But Dave's been feeling a little under the weather and hasn't really had his mind on blogging, so until he's feeling better, you can expect to see a lot more posts from me than usual. I'll try to stay fairly constant with posts. Besides, there's a lot that needs talking about. So I hope you'll bear with me until Dave starts to get his blogging face back.

Power Outage Update

Both Dave and I are sorry for a lack of updates recently; there's been a snowstorm that's knocked out our power. Until that comes back, there's not going to be a "real" post coming along. As it stands, I'm updating from a Barnes and Noble café.  Rest assured, that when power comes back online, we'll be back with more updates.

Ed Hardy Rocks: Highly Caffeinated Chocolates

Have you ever had chocolate-covered coffee beans?  Starbucks sells them, and so do a lot of other, smaller coffee shops.  Pop one in your mouth and you get delicious smooth chocolate, ability-enhancing caffeine, and a mouthful of nasty-assed coffee grinds, homemade by your very own teeth, which find their way to every nook and cranny of your mouth, providing you with endless opportunities to spit out cruddy black granules all day.  It's a great idea - directly-ingestible chocolate-flavored coffee nuggets - but a horrible execution.  (But feel free to tell me in the comments how much you love them and what an asshole I am.)

But there is a BETTER WAY:  Ed Hardy Highly Caffeinated Chocolates.  

Not too long ago, I got an email from Eat Hardy LLC, asking if I'd like a sample of their Ed Hardy Rocks caffeinated candy to try.  Soon, there were small boxes of little round nuggets in my mailbox.  Lynnafred, who is able to detect chocolate the way a bloodhound can detect a chain gang escapee, had placed the package on the dining room table and was still circling it when I got home from work.

"What are THESE?" she demanded in her Chocolate Voice.

"Chocolate Rocks and Coffee Rocks, caffeinated chocolates," I said. "Wanna try 'em?" Well, of course she wanted to try them, and so did I.

The Chocolate Rocks are smooth delicious chocolate, covered with a dark brown candy coating, and spiked with caffeine. Although firm enough to crunch when bitten, there's no graininess to the chocolate, which melts deliciously in the mouth with a rich flavor somewhere between milk and dark chocolate.  Coffee Rocks are similar, but with a flavor more like mocha-tinged espresso, deep and slightly bitter.  Lynnafred chose the Chocolate as her favorite; I was more partial to the coffee. Either way, they're high-quality confectionary, and you can enjoy them without filling your mouth with coffee grounds like some old percolator basket.

And what about the caffeine, you ask?  Well, five Rocks carry the gentle eye-opening properties of a single cup of Joe, but there are more than five Rocks in a box.  I forget just how many, unfortunately, but let's just say it's a good-sized handful.  And the people at Eat Hardy LLC are refreshingly up-front with their nutritional information.  They know that most people aren't going to stop at five candies, especially when using them as a delicious way to pull an all-nighter, so they come right out and say that the serving size is "1 box."  Good for them, it's about time there was some common sense out there.

Yes, these are totally eye-opening and awesome. You can find them, I presume, at any of the Ed Hardy stores sprinkled around the country, or you can order them online (click here.)

McDonald's Sausage McMuffin with Egg AND BACON

I noticed a smallish sign dangling from the menu display at my local McDonald's last week:  Add Bacon To Any Sandwich: 99 Cents. That has some serious potential for dietary abuse. Imagine, if you will, a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese and Bacon.

Though I rarely eat anything other than breakfast at McDonald's, that sign was still highly relevant to my interests.  So this morning, when I stopped to pick up the best breakfast sandwich on the planet, a Sausage McMuffin With Egg, I decided to BACONIZE IT.  

"Sausage McMuffin with Egg, please.  And add bacon to it."

The woman behind the counter looked a little surprised.  "You want to add bacon to that? Really?"

"Yes," I replied. "I'm crazy. Please do it or I will stand here and bark like a dog."

She laughed and keyed the order in.

I did not think it possible to improve upon a Sausage McMuffin with Egg.  I was wrong. This sandwich was BORN TO BEAR BACON. The smoky umami of the bacon pairs perfectly with the egg, of course, but also highlights and enriches the already-outstanding flavor of the sausage.  If you already like Sausage McMuffins with Egg, you should add bacon to it at least once to experience this awesomeness for yourself.

And McDonald's, I say to you: Offer a Sausage McMuffin With Bacon And Egg as a regular menu item. It's amazing (and I don't ever use that word lightly because it's trite and overplayed.) Just remember it was my idea and I'll expect at least a sweetly-loaded Arch Card for my troubles.

Chef's Cupboard Canned Broths by ALDI

I'm not a big fan of canned broths - most of them taste like salty, flavorless water.  Nevertheless, there are times when I don't have the time or enthusiasm to make broth or stock from scratch and have to use a prepared product.  For the past few months, that product has been Chef's Cupboard, the house brand sold by ALDI.

I discovered it completely by accident.  Last winter, I went on a make-my-own-doggie-treat kick.  Most recipes for homemade dog treats are basically low-sugar cookies that use beef or chicken broth for flavoring.  As much as I love my dogs, there was no way I was going to use expensive Wolfgang Puck organic roasted chicken broth to make dog treats.  So I started looking for a cheap alternative, and that led me to ALDI, because virtually every time I've bought an ALDI brand of anything, it's been great.  And there, right by the soups at the local ALDI, was Chef's Cupboard chicken broth and beef broth.  I picked up a couple cans of each and went home to make the dog biscuits.

And of course, I couldn't resist taking a sip of each of the broths as I used them.  

Damn.  They were good.

Since then, I've used both the chicken and the beef broths a few times, always with good results. You can use them straight up to make a quick soup, or pour them into a dutch oven for three hours of braising a batch of short ribs (the broths don't have so much salt that a long cooking time makes your dish too salty to eat.)

So, I guess you could call this a combination review and recommendation.  It's yet another good, solid, inexpensive product from ALDI.

McDonald's Brings Back The McRib

Pining for the pseudoporky deliciousness that is the McDonald's McRib sandwich? You can now satisfy that longing: McDonald's has announced that the McRib is coming back for another limited engagement. It will be available from now until December 31, which is pretty cool because that means McRIBS FOR THANKSGIVING DINNER.

Props to Leeanne Griffin at ctnow.com's A LaCarte page for the initial heads-up.


Correction:  My original information was incorrect - McRibs will only be around until mid-November.  Sadly, that means you'll be stuck making turkey again for Thanksgiving.  Sorry for getting your hopes up.

Assorted Mexican Candy

Left to right: Duvalin, Pica Fresa, Mangopers lollipops

So, the other day I made this huge mistake and bought an assortment of Mexican candy from T J Maxx.  It didn't seem like it would be such a bad idea - didn't look all that bad, and the ingredients promised spicy chile peppers!  (Yes, I have a weakness for hot spice, and the spice/sweet combo was just very appealing.)

Unfortunately, the three candies I brought home became the Trifecta of Disappointment.

Duvalin Bi Sabor Strawberry-Vanilla is advertised as a "cream candy." It comes in little tubs, with little plastic sticks to aid consumption.  The closest I can come to describing it is "cheap frosting."  It was exactly as if I had bought little sample containers of pre-made cake frosting.  This, of course, is not unheard of in North American supermarkets (Betty Crocker makes Dunkaroos, which are nothing but a small serving of cookies and a tiny tub of frosting to dunk them in. But at least there are cookies there to somewhat cut the frosting jolt.)  Knowing that Duvalin Bi Sabor is so frostingesque should tell you just about all you need to know about it.  I can't really condemn it - there are plenty of people who would just love the stuff - but I kind of expected something more along the lines of a taffy, so there ya go.

Pica Fresa are little balls of individually wrapped starch gum rolled in "hot" chili powder. They taste kind of like what you'd get if you coated Twizzlers in cayenne pepper (but took away much of the heat.)  They would have been better if they were hotter. And a little chewier.

Mangopers mango flavored lollipops were the absolute worst of the bunch, by a huge margin, given their utter horridness. They appeared to be made of mango-flavored hard candy coated in ground chile pepper, but honestly, I'll never know. The coating was so nasty - the stalest possible chile powder seemingly blended with a heavy dose of salt - that I never even made it to the candy within.  Truly bad stuff.

Never again.