Dollar Store Stupidity

Job lots and dollar stores are great sources of inspiration for me. They've always got interesting food sections, thanks to failed product introductions, store bankrupcies, and short production runs. And then there are the crappo manufacturers who contract for huge numbers of shoddy gadgets they can buy for a nickle and sell for a buck.

Take this "dog food can opener," for example. It is, quite frankly, a piece of shit. Cheap bearings, soft scrapmetal parts, and a shoddy plastic handle practically guarantees this junk a short life. And it's a good thing they put "DOG FOOD CAN OPENER" on the card, because you sure as hell can't tell what kind of animal that bow-tied bastardization is supposed to represent.

But the text on the card is the best part:

"Perfect for easy opening of canned dog food." Of course it is. It's a can opener, right?

"Prevents mixing of dog and human food." What? WHAT?? Are they kidding? What kind of stupid bullshit is this? And are there really people out there so gullible as to think this is a problem? Damn.

Hoan - the manufacturer - used to be pretty reliable, a good source of inexpensive but well-made kitchen sundries. I still use a set of biscuit cutters made by Hoan almost 25 years ago. But somewhere along the way, I suspect they've gone a little downhill.

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