11 May, 2012

Tasty Bull Foreskin Snacks

A few years ago, I thought it would be hilarious to make beef jerky out of bull penises and market them under the brand name "Pizzle Sticks." My wife, however, thought less of this idea than I did and so the concept went no further than a couple of rude pencil sketches.

Just as well, I guess, since I found out that pet snack companies have already been doing this for years. The snacks are called "bully sticks," and the packaging usually says that they're made from "100% beef bully," presumably because the companies aren't run by people like me with a 10-year-old's sense of humor.  The snacks aren't at all dicklike - they just look like rawhide rods with surprisingly small diameters. It got me to thinking, trying to imagine what the companies were doing with the rest of the "bullies." You know, the parts that are dicklike which they have to cut off.

 VoilĂ !
On a recent trip to Bogner Meats in Manchester CT, I found dog treat "grab bags" that were filled with various rawhide and dried animal bits left over from trimming enormous offal-based jerky snacks into comfortably-unidentifiable puppy chews. Of course, that means that some of the trimmings are identifiable. Very identifiable. Also very inexpensive: a sack of trimmings is about a month's worth of nightly Quiet Time Treats for my two dogs and it only costs about ten bucks. (Compare that to pet-store-purchased pig ears - at one a day per dog, I only get about 2 weeks out of a bag that costs nearly $30.)

Because the pecker ends are so dense when they are turned into rawhide like that, they're very dense and keep the dogs busy for about an hour whenever they get one. And judging by the way they will perform a circus' worth of tricks to get one, they're apparently delicious.


DrunkethWizerd said...

No thanks. I'll stick to gnawing on my own testicle skin thank you very much.

Kim said...

Oh man, you have me roaring over here.. and eating my Zuppa Tuscona.. I almost spit it out. LOL Erik's comment is priceless.

TomW said...

"Apparently delicious"? Way back when when you "tried this stuff so we wouldn't have to" you would have shared a little flavor insight.

You REALLY didn't take a little nibble?


Anonymous said...

" waste not want not " I think its clever to use all parts of an animal even if it goes to the dogs.

I would like your feedback on the flavor however.

Dave said...

OK, human taste test:

The fatty bits are a little over-the-hill, so they have a bit of that "rancid fat" taste. The meat part is quite thoroughly dried and takes a LOT of chewing and mouthtime to get even a little soft...and then they taste mostly like an old shoe. Dogs certainly do enjoy different flavors than we do.

SJBill said...

In times past, these "parts" were tanned and stitched together to make very utilitarian wallets. If you rubbed them the right way they became atache cases.

TomW said...

"OK, human taste test: "

Thanks Dave - you are most certainly the "Go To Guy".


Mary Bennett said...

Just ieeeeeeew!! Double ieeeeewwww. so I guess it wasn't just iieeeewww to begin with.