22 December, 2011

Ew...Cultured Almond Milk

So, apparently someone has figured out a way to make a non-yogurt using almond milk and active yogurt cultures. And, while I can see the appeal of this to vegans and the lactose-intolerant, there has to be a better way to go about it.

Amande Cultured Almond Milk does have active cultures in it. But since it isn't real dairy milk, there's nothing for the cultures to thicken. I guess they just sit around in the cup and wait to be eaten.  The thickening part is done by various starches and gums which are blended in to give the product a yogurt-like smoothness.

Unfortunately, yogurt-like is about as far as it goes, because the starches and gums also produce a consistency that is rather solid and jiggly, except for the pool of sticky waterish stuff that is also in the cup. Trying to stir the watery stuff back into the almond milk mass is an exercise in futility: it never mixes back in, it just sort of helps break up the jiggly parts into grainy little unappealing blobs. No, it is far better to just pour the water off down the sink and dig right into the almond milk mass, because when it holds its form you can at least pretend that it's pudding or something else that's actually appetizing.

The raspberry flavor that we sampled was a semi-pinkish/brown color, shot through with tiny bits of raspberry.  The raspberry flavor was rather pleasant, but unfortunately it could not mask the "elderly mayonnaise" taste of the almond milk concoction itself. And then there was that graininess.

Even with four of us tasting it, most of it went straight into the bin. At best, this is an acquired taste. And I'm truly sorry for anyone who has cause to acquire it.


Magar said...

oh god "elderly mayonnaise" is both hilarious and wonderfully accurate at getting your point across. Hahah, thanks for the warning, I will definitely avoid this stuff should I ever come across it

Jessi P. said...

i'm glad to see you are getting back on your feet! i feel your pain, as this past semester i have had two sinus infections followed by mono, and in effect i have been sick since the week of halloween. it's hard to remember what life was like without a 101 degree fever!! anyway, i'm a huge fan of your blog, and whenever you update it always makes me happy. KEEP UP THE AWESOME! ^__^

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the warning on this product. I've been cutting back on dairy and had considered buying it but wasn't convinced after looking at it in the store. Now I know my reluctance to purchase was warranted.

Paul said...

Hello Dave - I have allergies to milk, so from my perspective this is the best non-dairy active culture available.