02 July, 2012

Convenience Was Never So Annoying

Wow, what could be more convenient than a little carton of dehydrated tater pellets that can magically turn into a whole pound of hashbrowns? And look! The front label says it "grills in under 5 minutes!" 

Oh, but wait. The real instructions are on the side of the carton, and they tell a different story:

  1. Fill carton to FILL LINE with hottest tap water.
  2. Close carton and let stand for 12 minutes. DRAIN WELL. Caution: Contents will be hot.
  3. PREHEAT a large non-stick skillet and 2 TBSP of oil over MEDIUM-HIGH heat (375 F)
  4. PAN FRY on one side 3-4 minutes, or until golden brown. Refrigerate leftovers.
So they might "grill in under 5 minutes" but the preparation time is a lot longer than that. And when you're done with your 15 minutes of cooking (almost 20 if you decide to flip the hashbrowns over and, you know, cook the side that Hungry Jack seems to have forgotten about in Steps 1 through 4) what have you got? Fried rehydrated tater pellets.

Seems to me that I can shred a pound of potatoes using an old-fashioned box grater and fry up some real hashbrowns in about the same amount of time (even less if I use a food processor to do the cutting.) And they won't taste like cardboard.


Amy said...

Great post as always. Made us laugh. Real is always better!

Leeanne said...

That's gross. I made fresh hash browns yesterday morning, half out of spite for this product and half because your blog got me craving them. Thanks!

Mr. Dave said...


They are probably trying to do a side business aside from their military contract. This sort of "hashbrowns' is ubiquitous in Army chowhalls. I mention them in the above post.