Ew...Cultured Almond Milk

So, apparently someone has figured out a way to make a non-yogurt using almond milk and active yogurt cultures. And, while I can see the appeal of this to vegans and the lactose-intolerant, there has to be a better way to go about it.

Amande Cultured Almond Milk does have active cultures in it. But since it isn't real dairy milk, there's nothing for the cultures to thicken. I guess they just sit around in the cup and wait to be eaten.  The thickening part is done by various starches and gums which are blended in to give the product a yogurt-like smoothness.

Unfortunately, yogurt-like is about as far as it goes, because the starches and gums also produce a consistency that is rather solid and jiggly, except for the pool of sticky waterish stuff that is also in the cup. Trying to stir the watery stuff back into the almond milk mass is an exercise in futility: it never mixes back in, it just sort of helps break up the jiggly parts into grainy little unappealing blobs. No, it is far better to just pour the water off down the sink and dig right into the almond milk mass, because when it holds its form you can at least pretend that it's pudding or something else that's actually appetizing.

The raspberry flavor that we sampled was a semi-pinkish/brown color, shot through with tiny bits of raspberry.  The raspberry flavor was rather pleasant, but unfortunately it could not mask the "elderly mayonnaise" taste of the almond milk concoction itself. And then there was that graininess.

Even with four of us tasting it, most of it went straight into the bin. At best, this is an acquired taste. And I'm truly sorry for anyone who has cause to acquire it.