The Mystery of Smarties

So, Halloween has come and gone, and once again I'm left with a gigantic bowl of leftover candy. There are a lot of kids in my neighborhood and the weather was fairly decent, so I thought there'd be a good trickertreat turnout, but alas, only a dozen or so groups of kids.

Most of the leftover stuff will get piled in the breakroom at work for the ravenous jackals there, but not the Smarties. Everyone in the family poked through the leftovers, and almost universally said, "Oh, good! you didn't give away all the Smarties!" 

Smarties are billed by their manufacturer as 'America's Favorite Candy Roll," which could be true I guess, although Tootsie Roll might dispute that. Actually, I hope they do dispute it, Smarties were invented in 1949, making them 65 years old; Tootsie came around in 1896. I say we give them each a sword and let them slash it out at the neighborhood Senior Center. 

This would bring in a fortune on Pay Per View.

Anyway, I mentioned "The Mystery of Smarties." Lynnafred was the one who first pointed it out to me. She was sorting a roll of Smarties by color so she could eat the white ones - her favorites - last.  I have to admit, I do the exact same thing (could Smarties preference be genetic??) Mindful of Kellogg's fessing up that all Froot Loops cereal colors were actually the same flavor, I said that the white ones were my faves, too, but I've never been able to really tell them apart other than the fact that the white Smarties seemed to be more citrusy and "brightly" flavored than the others.

And so I made up my mind to really concentrate on the flavor of different colored Smarties, to see if I could discern something more than "the white ones are pretty damn good and I'm not too crazy about the green ones." With little piles of the different colors in front of me, I started to deliberately taste each color.

Nope. Sorry. I got a vaguely citrusy/vanilla taste from the whites and a whiff of pineapple from the yellows, and a warbly, indistinct "fruity" flavor from all the rest except orange. Orange tasted like a fainter version of the St. Joseph Children's Aspirin my mom used to give us when we were kids.

Luckily, the Smarties web site has a FAQ wherein the true flavor intentions of Smarties are revealed! According to Mr. Smartie Pants, the flavors are as follows:

White - Orange/Cream
Yellow - Pineapple
Pink - Cherry
Green - Strawberry
Purple - Grape
Orange - Orange

So...What's your favorite color Smarties?

Twilzzlers Caramel Apple Filled Twists

Candied nastiness has taken a new form and is now available as Caramel Apple flavored Filled Twizzlers, a confectionery abomination that Lynnafred came home with a few days ago.

She's long been a big fan of Twizzlers, so she was kind of excited when she presented them. "Check it out! A new kind of Twizzlers! And look, they have skin inside!" (referring to the human-flesh-colored stuff which was supposed to represent the "caramel.") Okay, so "excited" might be the wrong word.

There were four pieces in the package, one for each of us, and we all helped ourselves to one and took tentative bites.

This is, we unanimously decided, not the candy to choose if you are looking for the flavor of caramel apple.

The Twizzler part - that is, the surrounding green twisty bit - is fine as far as it goes. If you're a fan of "red licorice" you know what to expect from it, only it will be green instead of red and have a vaguely apple-ish flavor that bears little resemblance to actual apples.

But the filling is astonishing in its utter worthlessness. How hard could it have been to put something more like actual caramel inside? Caramel is cheap and common, and the technology needed to fill Twizzlers has already, obviously, been perfected. But no, Twizzlers had to go with some kind of sweetened plasticine psuedofood with a flavor eerily similar to caramel and an aftertaste strongly similar to Play-Doh.

Twizzlers should change their label for this candy. I suggest this:

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Toaster Pastry Heaven

Recently spotted at Big Lots: huge, 48-count boxes of Pop-Tarts!  Each of these wastebasket-sized packages contain six times the standard number of sugary, crusty frosted delights - 24 each of frosted strawberry and nutritionally-defunct Brown Sugar Cinnamon.  It's POP-TART HEAVEN!

For a long time, Brown Sugar Cinnamon was my favorite variety of Pop-Tart.  While it's true that no Pop-Tart is exactly the epitome of healthy eating, Brown Sugar Cinnamon is almost the perfect storm of empty calories. There isn't even the pretense of fruit there to make Mom feel less guilty about abandoning breakfast to The Big K. It's kind of like the Pop-Tart development team said, "You know what? The hell with it! Skip the fruit jam and let's just fill some of 'em up with sugar! That's what the little bastards really want anyway. And put frosting on it, too."

They were right. When I was a little bastard, I LOVED Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts, and my cruel heartless mother would hardly ever buy them. (I think she said something like, "You're not getting that shit for breakfast.")

Hershey's Air Delight Chocolate

If I wanted to write a three-word review of Hershey's new Air Delight chocolate, I would just type "Feh. Skip it." But as it turns out, I actually have something to say about this stuff, so here goes.

1. It's a shitty trick designed to get consumers to buy air at chocolate prices. Hershey could have done this years ago if they really wanted to - Nestle has been selling the Aero Bar in Europe for years - but with the lousy economy putting the squeeze on profits, I guess a bigger-looking bar that actually contains less chocolate was irresistible to the cocoa bean counters.

2. The texture is weird. Air Delight chocolate shatters into a grainy lattice when it is bitten and chewed (although I admit it soon melts down to regular Hershey chocolate consistency.  It's just that initial chomp that kinda skeeves me out.)

3.  When all is said and done, it's still made of Hershey chocolate. When I was a kid and the only kind of chocolate I'd ever tasted came from Hershey, I liked it well enough. But since then, I've tasted chocolate made all over the world, and there is really no comparison between a Hershey bar and chocolate made in Germany, Belgium, Italy, or Switzerland. Not only does the higher cocoa butter content in good chocolate make it melt in the mouth more smoothly than Hershey, but Hershey has a decidedly "sour" back taste that is almost cheesy.  Try a side-by-side comparison with a Hershey bar and some inexpensive German-made chocolate from ALDI. You'll be amazed.

Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon

Knowing how much we love Wheat Thins, Nabisco knew that we were perfect to take their limited-edition Sweet Cinnamon Wheat Thins for a test drive.

These are a perfect blend of sweet and salty. Think cinnamon-sugar toast with butter. Or Cinnamon Toast Crunch with salt. Or, you know, cinnamon rolls without icing.

You know what? Think of cinnamon. Think of salt. Now combine that with a tablespoon of awesome and think of Wheat Thins. These are great for snacking right out of the box, and especially fantastic when paired with a cheesecake dip or a small smear of vanilla icing. They're even good topped with a slice of cheddar. These little guys are versatile and perfect for the holidays.

Unfortunately, they're only available for a limited time, so get them while they're here.

Lynnafred's Cookie Base

It was too damn hot in the kitchen for me, but Lynnafred got a jones for cookies, and when that happens she becomes a baking demon, unstoppable until several batches of cookies spill from the oven and the dining room table becomes covered with racks of cooling cookies.

She's come up with a very good "cookie base" - an all-purpose mixture that is highly adaptable to the type of cookie she want to produce.

Lynnafred's Cookies
Makes about 6 dozen

 Basic Mix:

1 cup butter, softened
¾ cup brown sugar, packed
½ cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2½ cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
2 cups of "mix-ins" (chips, nuts, dried fruits, etc.)

Method:

Preheat oven to 350 F.

Cream butter and sugars together and beat eggs in one at a time.  Add vanilla extract and mix until smooth. Whisk dry ingredients together in a bowl until well-combined. Add the dry ingredients to the egg mixture and beat until a batter forms. Fold in the "mix ins." Drop by spoonfuls onto a parchment-covered cookie sheet and bake 8 to 10 minutes.  Remove with a spatula to racks to cool. Cookies will be soft when they come out of the oven and will firm up somewhat as they cool.

Variations:

• For chocolate cookies, substitute 1 cup of cocoa powder and 1¾ cups of flour for the 2½ cups of flour.
• Try "mix in" combos that work well together, using any proportion you like that adds up to the two cups required.  Some of Lynnafred's favorites are cinnamon chips + chocolate chips, white chocolate chips + dried blueberries, and dark chocolate chunks + butterscotch chips.
• Use different kinds of brown sugar for variations in flavor. The darker the brown sugar, the more intense the molasses flavor will be in the sugar.
• Try interesting "mix-ins" that you wouldn't normally associate with cookies.  Chocolate-covered dried cranberries are awesome in cookies.

Cinnamon cookies are one of Lynnafred's faves.  Unfortunately, we were running a little low on cinnamon chips tonight, so she made these combo chocolate chip-cinnamon chip cookies.

These cookies feature dried blueberries and white chocolate chips.  They're totally more-ish.

Coronado Goat's Milk Lollipops

Goat's milk, I'm told, is an acquired taste. One of my esteemed culinary fellow travelers tells me that he can "taste the goat" with every sip. While I acknowledge that goat's milk does taste different from that of the cow, I don't find the flavor unpleasant.

And so it was that when I saw a long cellophane strip of these goat's milk lollipops at the local Price/Rite, I dropped them into my shopping cart. They were too interesting to leave behind.

And they are DELICIOUS. Beautiful smooth and creamy dulce de leche without any goatiness at all. They're totally awesome.

If you see them, buy them. You will not be disappointed.

Handwritten Recipes: Blonde Brownies

A short time ago, I happened upon a truly awesome blog called Forgotten Bookmarks.  Run by independent bookseller Popeks Used And Rare Books, Forgotten Bookmarks is a sort of art project documenting bits of ephemera found between the pages of the used and rare books that come into the store looking for new owners. 

Among the many items found have been quite a few handwritten recipes - some on cards, some on slips of paper, some carefully written out, some in barely-legible spidery handwriting.  Enough of them turned up that shop owner Michael Popek started a side project, Handwritten Recipes, to document and share these forgotten treasures as well.

Mr. Popek thought it would be interesting to have someone actually prepare and photograph the recipes he features on Handwritten Recipes, and I agree.  It's a project that fits nicely with my interest in "heirloom recipes" and culinary ephemera.  Beginning today, I'm going to start working my way through the collected pieces there, preparing the recipes, photographing the results and perhaps the processes, and posting them here with links to the original discovery at Handwritten Recipes.  I hope that you enjoy this collaborative project as much as I will.

Our inaugural recipe was found in a copy of Motherless Brooklyn by Jonathan Lethem (Published by Vintage, 1999.)

 

Blonde Brownies

2 c. flour
1/4 teas. baking soda
1 teas baking powder
1 teas salt
2 c. packed brown sugar
2/3 c.. shortening, melted
2 eggs
2 teas vanilla
2 c. choc. chips
1/3 c. chopped nuts

Mix flour, soda, baking powder and salt
Add sugar to shortening - eggs - vanilla
Add flour mixture to sugar mixture
Spread in 13 x 9 pan. Sprinkle with chips and nuts
Bake 350° for 30 mins
Cool in pan; cut in bars

What a great choice for a first recipe.  I was a little skeptical at first as I spread the batter into the 13 x 9 pan - there didn't seem to be enough to make a good layer on the bottom of the pan - but they came out great.  The consistency was perfectly brownie-like, chewy and rich, and everyone loved them.  This is definitely a keeper.

See the original handwritten recipe here.

Sweet Candy Co. Orange & Raspberry Sticks

Sweet Candy Company, based in Salt Lake City UT, is one of the country's oldest family-owned candymakers.  When we saw that their Orange Sticks and Raspberry Sticks - fruit jellies covered in milk or dark chocolate - were available as a "special purchase" at ALDI, we picked up some of each of the varieties ALDI had available.

I can't even begin to tell you how gorgeous these simple jelly candies are.  The jelly is fruity and flavorful and the milk chocolate coatings are silky and rich; the dark chocolate (while a bit waxy) is of equally high quality.  No "mocolate" here.  Sweet's can give lessons to Hershey and M&M/Mars, both of whom have recently changed some of their candy bar recipes.

Anyway, the whole fam damily enjoyed these, and I'd pick 'em up again if ever I see them.  Check your local ALDI to see if they've got 'em near you.

Also:  Check out this review of  Sweet's Port Wine Gels over at Foodette Reviews if you're looking for a Sweet's candy what is more sophisticated and stuff.

Link:

Sweet Candy Company website.  They give free factory tours.
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Malted Milk Ball Cage Match: Whoppers vs Mighty Malts

Malted milk balls are a pretty basic treat:  Crunchy malted milk candy coated with chocolate.  So it should come as no surprise that there really isn't that much difference between New England's regionally-available Mighty Malts, produced by NECCO, and nationally-famous Whoppers, made by Hershey Foods.

Mighty Malts on the left, Whoppers on the right.

Mighty Malts are slightly larger than Whoppers. The malted milk interior is a bit darker in color and stronger in flavor, with a slightly "cultured" yogurtish taste.  There are tflavor differences with the outside "chocolatey" layer as well.  Whoppers taste like mild milk chocolate, while Mighty Malts have a heartier "cocoa" flavor. Also, because they are coated with confectioner's glaze, Mighty Malts are shiny and resist melting when held in the hand.

Regardless of their individual flavors, though, don't be calling either of these candies "chocolate coated" because they really aren't.  The outside candy on both is a slightly weird and waxy "mockolate" that contains no cocoa butter.

Anyway, when it comes right down to it, they're so similar (in make up as well as in price) that it really doesn't matter which one you choose in the local store.  Personally, I prefer the Mighty Malts for the richer cocoa taste, but I bet most kids wouldn't really care about such a subtle difference.  Mighty Malts are somewhat harder to find, while Whoppers are just about everywhere (NECCO is, after all, a much smaller company than Hershey.)

Special thanks to Foodette Reviews - Jess' review of Whoppers inspired this post.

Oh, by the way:  When I was writing this post, I wanted to check out an old version of the Whopper's label, back when the candy was still made by Leaf.  So I went over to Google's Image Search and typed in vintage whoppers.  Don't do that, especially with SafeSearch off.  Seriously.  Don't.

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SPONCH

They're kind of like a macaroon - a cookie base with spongy "creme" on top - and I found them in a Hispanic market in Baltimore.  Love the name.

More posts starting tomorrow.

Archway Cookies Recipe Contest!

As you know from my previous post about them, Archway cookies are back, and they're as delicious as you remember them.  We've already taken a look at some Archway varieties, and we'll be reviewing more of them in coming days, but today I'd like to tell you about the Archway Sweet Summer Treats Recipe Contest.  Not only does it give you a terrific excuse to pick up some Archway cookies, but you can win a $250 Visa gift card and have your recipe featured in Archway cookie promos!

The categories are mouthwatering:  Desserts with Ice Cream, Desserts Without Ice Cream, and Non-Dessert Creations (things like muffins, appetizers, and so forth.)  It's easy to enter - you must be a legal resident of the US and be 18 years of age or older as of June 22, 2010.

To help inspire you, Archway has opened up a one-stop contest entry page.  You can browse through recipes, check out the contest rules, and submit your entry right there.  And - best of all - you can jumpstart your kitchen wizardry with a $1.00-off coupon for any variety of Archway Cookie!  Click here to visit Archway's contest page.

Lynnafred and I are psyched for this contest - we've got some great ideas but we'd be perfectly willing to bask in the reflected glory of your win as well.  Go for it!

Links:

Archway Cookies website

Full Terms and Conditions for the Archway Sweet Summer Treats Recipe Contest

This post was sponsored by Archway Cookies.

Archway Cookies - First in a series

Dave's Introduction:

When I was a kid, Archway cookies were always on hand.  Always.  Especially the ginger snaps: not only did my mom keep them available, so did my grandmother.  Maryanne tells me that her family always bought Archway cookies when she was young, too.  Archway became a staple in our cookie jars, too.

Unfortunately, the company ran into some troubles a few years ago.  The troubles led to bankruptcy, and we noticed that the cookies didn't seem to be available in our area any more.  But now, Archway is back!

Not too long ago, a PR rep from Archway contacted me and asked if we'd be interested in sampling some cookies and writing about them.  We received a very generous cookie assortment which we've been enjoying for a couple weeks now, and Archway has some pretty cool stuff coming up later this month that Lynnafred and I will be letting you know about soon.   For now, though, we're kicking off a series of posts with a review of some of the cookies Archway sent along to us - and I'm handing off to Lynnafred now for the first few reviews.

Lynnafred's reviews:

First of all, I want to thank Archway for their generosity.  Having a carton of cookies showing up on the front porch is like having a sweet dream come true!

I'm going to start the series with reviews of the Iced Molasses, Windmills, and Frosted Lemon varieties.

Although the Iced Molasses cookies are, so far, my least favorite , Mom and Dave both really like them. They're about an inch and a half in diameter, nice and soft, and with a generous swipe of hard icing on top.  Very flavorful; they're rich and sweet, and just a tad spicy, but there's a lingering fruity flavor in them that I don't particularly like. When I checked the ingrediets, I found that they contained raisin paste.  That accounted for the fruit flavor and for why I didn't care for them - I'm not much one for raisins.  Dave said the raisin paste went well with the deep taste of molasses and the spices in the cookie.

Next, at the insistence of Dave, I opened up the package of Windmills that Archway sent. Apparently, they were a childhood favorite of his and he wanted to see if they stacked up against his memories.These cookies are crisp and flat and about three inches long. They taste really good; they've got a lot of cinnamon in them. They're spicier than a typical cinnamon cookie - like a reduced-ginger ginger snap, and are accented with minced almonds throughout them that gives them an interesting added flavor and texture. I really enjoyed these.  Dave said they were just like he remembered

And last but not least, we have Frosted Lemon cookies. These were my favorite by far. Soft and almost cakey, these cookies have a light, refreshing lemony flavor that isn't too sweet or tart, and is nicely accented by the icing on top.  We brought this package to a family picnic and everyone there was delighted, it was like they were greeting old friends.  I was disappointed that the cookies got scarfed up so fast. but I guess everyone remembered how much they used to love them and ate them up.

We have more cookies to try and we're all taking notes as we go.  And Dave hinted to me that Archway has something fun coming up soon.  So keep an eye out for upcoming Archway posts.

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An Assortment of Pocky

Anyone who's ever been to any kind of anime convention is familiar with the name Pocky. The delicious little biscuit sticks dipped in chocolate are many a congoer's breakfasts. But many people only know of chocolate Pocky, which in my opinion is a damn shame. Glico's line of Pocky is a vast empire covering all sorts of flavors, from fruit-based, to foreign treats quite alien to American palates, to mimicking luxurious desserts. And after my most recent trip to Dong's - an Asian supermarket - I've come home with five new flavors of Pocky.

The first up is Strawberry Cream Pocky, vanilla biscuit sticks with a strawberry cream flavored coating. The coating has bits of dehydrated strawberry in it, and it tastes a lot like strawberry shortcake when it's eaten. It's a pleasant, refreshing flavor that I found to be incredibly enjoyable. The addition of the dehydrated fruit made it distinctly different from the artificially flavored Strawberry Pocky.

Next was by far the most interesting Pocky flavor I've ever tasted, Chocolat Fromage. It's in the more luxurious Dessert line, and features a richer chocolate blend and fuller, better flavors than its other counterparts. This flavor took a regular biscuit stick and dipped it in a layer of white cheese-flavored coating before drizzling it with a layer of milk chocolate. This one surprised me. I was expecting something akin to a chocolate cheesecake, but instead was greeted to the smooth sweetness of chocolate paired with a semi-sharp cheese flavor akin to cream cheese before it's been mixed into a cheesecake. It's also got a slight orange flavor thanks to some orange juice in the cheese mixture. To date, this ranks in my Top Five of Pocky.

After the Chocolat Fromage flavor, we tried the "tsubutsubu misuku beri" flavor, or "Chunky Mixed Berries" in English. This was a vanilla biscuit dipped in a mixed berry coating. According to the green banner on the package, it consisted of cranberries, strawberries, and blueberries, but it tasted mostly like blueberries and strawberries. Funny, because cranberry juice comes before anything else on the list. These were also really good; they tasted like a fruit parfait, which I'm definitely all over.

The Milk Pocky is extremely boring in comparison to the other Pockys I've tried tonight. It was a regular biscuit dipped in a sweetened milk flavored coating. Don't get it confused with vanilla; there was a distinct difference between them. This coating tasted a lot like sweetened condensed milk: a concentrated, almost malted-milk-like flavor. It was nice in its own right, but compared to the other flavors is a tad dull. This was my least favorite of the bunch.

And last, but certainly not least, was Choco-Banana flavor. This was another variety that had two layers of flavorings. The first was a bright yellow artificially flavored banana coating, which was drizzled over with thin stripes of milk chocolate. The result is an obviously artificial but still really tasty chocolate-covered banana sensation. This is another flavor that has made my Top Five of Pocky list.

All of these flavors of Pocky are definite keepers, though I'm sure that the next time I head down to the Asian supermarket, I won't be able to find them.

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Win a Box o' Pocky!

To help spread my love of Pocky, I'm giving away a couple boxes my favorite flavor from this post: the chocolat fromage. To enter my Pocky Giveaway, just send an email to daves [dot] cupboard [at] gmail [dot] com with the subject "Pocky."  With the help of random number generator website random.org, two winners will be selected and each will receive a free 70g box of Pocky Chocolat Fromage Chocolate Dessert! Entries must be received by Monday, June 21, 2010 - one entry per person, please.  Winners will be notified by email and will receive their delicious Pocky via US Mail.
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Beverage Flavored Dessert Toppings?

Spotted these "Dessert Toppers" at Price Chopper the other day.  Somehow, pouring Dr. Pepper Cherry syrup on anything doesn't really appeal to me (same goes for Orange Crush and even A&W Root Beer.) They're basically a blend of corn syrup and high-fructose corn syrup and artificial flavorings.  This is one strange product that I will probably never review, but if any of you have tried it, feel free to leave a comment.

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Stone Ridge Creamery's Awesome New Flavors

I love this retro-1940's logo.

Stone Ridge Creamery, as you might know, is the brand name used by SUPERVALU Stores for their house-label ice cream.  I have always been mighty impressed by the quality of the product - they deliver premium-brand quality at store-brand prices - and originally wrote about them over a year ago.  SUPERVALU operates a number of regional supermarket chains, including Acme, Cub Foods, Farm Fresh, Hornbacher’s, Jewel-Osco, Shaw’s/Star Market, Shop ‘n Save, and Shoppers Food & Pharmacy, so chances are you've got one nearby.  Stone Ridge Creamery ice cream is one of the reasons I really miss having a Shaw's in town.  It was always great.

Recently, I was contacted by SUPERVALU.  Knowing how much I love Stone Ridge Creamery ice cream, they sent along a press release about three new ice cream flavors that were created as a result of an employee contest.  Pretty cool.

Here's the backstory:  SUPERVALU sponsored a sweepstakes for their employees called the "Stone Ridge Creamery Name Your Dream Flavor Sweepstakes."  Associates were asked to submit their "dream" ice cream flavor, and three flavors would be selected for addition to the Stone Ridge Creamery lineup.  Not only would the winhners see their dream flavors put into actual production, but they'd also get their charicatures featured on the carton, a $500 gift card, and  - most awesome of all - free ice cream for a year.

The winners, announced on April 29, 2010 and listed along with their caricatures, were:

Tom Lindberg, retail technology specialist for SUPERVALU’s supply chain services northern region in Minneapolis, for his “Twisted Pretzel” flavor;

Amy Youngblood, senior business support specialist at SUPERVALU’s innovation center in Minneapolis, for her “Red Velvet Cake” flavor; and

Joe Agrusa, direct store delivery receiver at the Albertsons store in Chula Vista, Calif., for his “Italian Bliss” flavor.

Along with the press release, SUPERVALU also sent me a container of each of the new flavors to try out, and let me tell you:  these ice creams are awesome.  Maryanne, Lynnafred, and I have been enjoying them for a few days now, and all three of them are incredible.  We've tried to pick our favorites, but each of them is so good in its own way that we're finding it impossible to chose.  So, without any further gushing, here's our reviews of each one:

Tom's Twisted Pretzel - Chocolatey-covered pretzel bits swirled with caramel in caramel ice cream.  Although the pretzel bits had a bit of a problem staying absolutely crunchy in the ice cream mix, this flavor is a truly unique winner.  The caramel ice cream is made even more rich and decadent with the ribbons of caramel running through it, and the addition of the chocolatey pretzels was just ingenious.  Besides the crunch and chocolate hit, the nuggets of salt here and there make for a fantastic flavor contrast and a wonderful enhancement.  "Sweet and salty" is a combination that seems only recently to have gained a wider acceptance, and treats like this one just serve to confirm how delicious it can be.  In fact, the saltiness was one of the things that Lynnafred liked best, and I agree.

Joe's Italian Bliss - Hazelnut flavored ice cream with ribbons of hazlenut fudge and chocolately chips.  The first time Lynnafred tasted this one, she just closed her eyes, smiled, and sighed.  If you could wave a magic wand and turn chocolate hazlenut truffles into ice cream, this is what you would end up with. Joe's Italian Bliss is so good, you could turn this into a dinner party dessert just by adding a few wafer cookies and a dot of freshly whipped cream.  Maryanne loved the texture contrasts between the crunchy thin ribbons of fudge and the smooth, creamy ice cream.

Amy's Red Velvet Cake - Red velvet and vanilla bean ice cream, swirled with cream cheese frosting.  Lynnafred and Maryanne both thought that this ice cream was perfect.  "It tastes exactly like a red velvet cake!" Lynnafred said,  "So much better than those 'birthday cake' flavored ice creams that are out there."  Maryanne agreed.  The red velevet and vanilla bean ice creams are perfect compliments to one another, and the cream cheese frosting swirls give it the crowning touch.   Maryanne baked a red velvet cake yesterday because this ice cream awakened a "red velvet cake craving" in her.

Stone Ridge Creamery has hit three consecutive home runs with these new flavors.  No matter which one you try, you won't be disappointed.

Links:

Stone Ridge Creamery website

SUPERVALU Brands website - check out other SUPERVALU house brands.

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Easy Bake Kids' Dessert Kits: Cotton Candy Parfaits

When Dave and I hit the food section of job lot stores, it's always going to be a unique experience. But there's a huge difference in what we look for when we go. Usually, while Dave is inspecting some kind of dubious canned meat and prowling for oddly shaped pastas, I'm busy looking for some kind of strange confection or decent quality chocolate that I haven't tasted before. But on one of our latest outings, we were both struck by the same thing: a box of Easy Bake Cotton Candy parfaits. At $1.50 per box, we decided to try it out.

Preperation for these is as easy as making instant pudding, because that's essentially what they are: Two packets of colored cotton candy flavored pudding (in attractive pastel pink and it's-a-boy blue), and a packet of those hard marshmallows you get in hot cocoa or a box of Lucky Charms cereal. After mixing up the pudding according to the package directions, I spooned it into the plastic cups that were included in the box. After filling each cup halfway, it was time for the marshmallows to go in.

The package said to divide them evenly between the four cups. Now, partly because I'm a loser and partly because I had nothing better to do at the time, I decided to count up the hard, dehydrated bricks to see how many were in the packet. The total was 220.5, making that about 55 marshmallows per cup. After adding the marshmallows as the middle layer, I topped the desserts off with the remaining pudding and chucked them in the fridge to set.

Acouple of hours later, Mom, Dave, and I enjoyed them for dessert. Overall, they weren't bad. Artificial cotton candy flavor is very much like a burnt sugar taste, and these were no exception. It's nowhere near as delicious as pulling apart fresh cotton candy at a county fair or something, but these little treats were certainly passable. After sitting in the fridge, the marshmallows had begun to soften and start to melt between the wet layers of pudding, so those were kind of nasty. However, the package says to eat the pudding within three hours, and with good reason: the fourth parfait got to sit in the fridge overnight, and when I looked at it the next morning, the marshmallow center had melted into a very odd layer of pale white slime. Yuck.


The best place to look for these dessert kits are in job lot stores, I guess. They're made by Jel-Sert, the same company that makes Royal Gelatine, Royal Pudding, and My-T-Fine Pudding and Pie Fillings. A check at their website doesn't even mention Easy Bake Kid's Dessert Kits, so I think it's safe to say they're no longer in production.

Link:

Jel-Sert Website
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Fruitcake

I love fruitcake. Candied fruit, nuts, pound cake batter. The stuff's awesome, and I don't understand what the big deal is about hating it. Yes, it's sweet and heavy. That's why it's served in small slices, y'know?

Anyway, I'm considering setting up a kind of Fruitcake Rescue organization. Fruitcake haters could send me the ones they get as gifts and I'd match each delicious fruity brick with a Forever Home. In this context, "forever" would be defined as "hungry fruitcake lover."


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Sparkly <3 Vampire Sweethearts

Remember NECCO hearts? They're everywhere around Valentine's Day - especially here in New England, NECCO's home turf. Now - thanks to new owners who seem determined to squeeze every last nickle out of the franchise - there seem to be conversation hearts for everything. Including a version designed to appeal to fans of rather badly-written Mary Sue melodramas about chaste, sparkly vampires.

They're so damn ridiculous I hardly know where to begin mocking them. They come in "Forbidden Fruit" flavors (Tempting Apple, Secret Strawberry, Orange Obsession, and Passion Fruit) which have an overpowering musky aroma that kind of floods your senses when you dare to pop one in your mouth. Some of them are sparkly. And the box I bought actually has "2 of 3" on the upper right corner, so NECCO is marketing these as collectables. What a joke.

Dig the sayings on the hearts: "LIVE 4 EVER." "FORKS." "TRUST ME." "ALWAYS." "BAD GUY." "U R MY LIFE." "I ♥ EC"

And, my favorite:

Chum Bucket Candy

I paid nearly two bucks for this tiny little tin of Chum Bucket candy at a little chocolate shop in Gloucester, and it was so disappointing. The label promised "Chum Flavored Candy" and the ingredients listed "artificial seafood flavor" which I figured would be as close to chum as anything else. Not true. The candies are sweet and "biscuity" tasting - kind of like stale Cheerios - but taste nothing at all like chum, or seafood, or for that matter fish of any kind.

Seems to me that manufacturer Accoutrements could have put a little more effort into this stuff. After all, Jelly Belly manages to get some pretty damn convincing and disgusting flavors with those Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans they make - Vomit, Rotten Egg, Sardines, and Dirt spring to mind as being very very authentic.

Resist temptation and pass these up if you see them.