16 August, 2008

Dunkin Donut's Flatbread Sandwiches

Dunkin' Donuts, in their latest bid to forget just exactly what it was they did right for so many years, has introduced yet another "menu item" to their stores: Flatbread Sandwiches. They're two triangular pieces of toasted flat bread (shaped to invoke a diagonally-cut sandwich I guess) with stuff of varying edibility placed between. They're toasted to order in a high-speed oven and served up hot. Unfortunately, it sounds a lot better than it actually is. I've tried four of these new sandwiches; only two of them were any good, and they weren't worth the price:
  • Southwest Chicken - Disgusting, sponge-textured chicken patty (heavily adulterated with fillers, flavor enhancers, and other filth) with cheese and sauce. Dunkie's claims that it's "spicy," hence the use of the special buzzword "southwest." The chipotle sauce is made mostly of maple syrup, tomatoes, and water (chipotle peppers are the last ingredient on the list!) It took me three bites to get far enough into the sandwich to actually hit the so-called "chicken," and when I did it definitely wasn't worth the effort. I gave the rest of it to the dog.
  • Turkey, Cheddar, and Bacon - The turkey was overenhanced with injected "broth," the cheddar is little more than bland American cheese, and it was pretty skimpy on the bacon. It was better than the Southwest Chicken, but trust me, that is faint praise.
  • Ham and Swiss - Pretty standard ham with garden-variety Swiss cheese. If I were stuck in some kind of twisted culinary Hell where the only place to eat was a Dunkie's, I could order this without being disgusted at the contents.
  • Three Cheese - It's a grilled cheese sandwich with Swiss, Monterey Jack, and mild cheddar cheeses.

This is the horror that awaits you when you open up the Southwest Chicken flatbread Those lines aren't really marks from a grill, BTW; they're painted on using some brown stuff called "grill flavor." No, I'm not kidding. Haven't you ever wondered why stuff like this has "grill lines" that aren't even straight or parallel? I've never seen an actual grill with wonky bars that would make lines like that, have you?

I suppose it's never occurred to Dunkin Donuts that if they went back to actually baking their donuts from scratch on site and serving excellent coffee, they'd maintain profits without having to cast around for half-assed ideas about being a sandwich shoppe.


7 comments:

Natashya said...

Hmmm, painted on grill lines. And they can't even call them sandwich artists, the term is already taken.
I wonder who does the painting? Pimply kid in a beret with a palette?
Better to brown bag it to be on the safe side.

[eatingclub] vancouver || js said...

Oh. You know, I was willing to suspend disbelief that the grill lines on fast-food meats were actual grill lines. I didn't know that you can actually paint these on! Oh boy, the maddening insanity of the fast food industry! The more I hear about these things, the angrier I get.

Jim Weller said...

Re: Dunkin Donut's Flatbread Sandwiches

> I suppose it's never occurred to Dunkin Donuts that if they went
> back to actually baking their donuts from scratch on site and
> serving excellent coffee, they'd maintain profits without having
> to cast around for half-assed ideas about being a sandwich shoppe.

Tim Horton's got it right; their soups and sandwiches are pretty
good (for cheap fast food).


Re: Drop in Demand Lowers Lobster Prices

> At ShopRite live lobsters for $5.99 a pound

> The CBC reports that lobstermen on Prince Edward Island and
> southern New Brunswick are also getting lower prices for their
> bugs (C$8 - C$9.50 a kilo) thanks to a combination of great
> harvest, higher Canadian dollar, and sluggish American economy
> (lots of Canadian lobsters are sold in the US market.)

We haven't seen a price drop way up here. Still $18.99 per pound for
live lobster in Yellowknife. I guess the transportation costs are a
bitch.

Re: With a Silver Spoon In Your Mouth

> fabulous china at a Dollar General store last summer - Square
> plates with rounded corners and big, bold orange-and-pink flowers.
> Yes, I know, they sound hideous, but they're actually very
> retro-mid-sixties and look incredibly awesome when we set the
> table for lunch.

Nah! They're hideous! [g]

YK Jim

Alex Rushmer said...

These are frightening! Painted on grill lines? What's next? Cheese in a bottle? oh...

Michele said...

One of my employees works part time at Dunkin on the weekends. From hearing her talk about the products I haven't eaten there since.

Dave said...

This isn't the first time I've run across painted grill lines on food. Burger King does the same thing on their Steakhouse Burger - the sole burger in their line which does NOT list the ingredients as only "100% USDA inspected Ground Beef (Fire-Grilled)."

Anonymous said...

Dave- Apparently things haven't gotten any better, even with what we're told is a bad economy that should drive up competition and quality. Well, not at a DD's in Newton, NJ today. My mouth watered for the ham and cheese flatbread sandwich in the menu photo, with stacks of ham and melted cheese right up to the edges of the bread. What I got wasn't worth half the price. A few thin slices of ham and what might have been a slice of white cheddar cheese, only showing along the short edge. A lot of bread along the other two long edges. Too hot to eat without pulling apart and cooling off- hardly "toasted to order." And the flatbread tasted like spongey matzoh crackers, which don't taste like anything. Hardly multi-grain. I know because I had several bites of flatbread only, no ham or cheese. Ugh.