03 February, 2011

Tasting Everybody's Nuts.

Pistachios.  Man, I love 'em.  Put those nuts in a sack and stamp them with a clever name, and I'll buy 'em.  On sale, of course, and with a coupon.

Take Everybody's Nuts, for example.  Got a dollar off coupon for them out of Sunday's paper, went over to P-Chops where they were on sale for $4.99 a bag, and pretty soon I was putting Everybody's Nuts in my mouth. Tasted kinda salty.

Actually, Everybody's Nuts brand pistachios come in a variety of seasoned flavors, one of which is "Salt & Pepper," which is the variety we decided to buy.  It's a fairly decent seasoning blend and not nearly as salty as one might think.  Unfortunately, there's a lot less pepper than one might think as well, which I considered a weakness.  The fruity, cracked-peppercorn flavor was extremely subtle, existing more as an aroma as we chewed, rather than a seasoning flavor.  Needless to say, there wasn't much (if any) peppery spiciness.

Everybody's Nuts tagline, printed on every bag, is "Big. Open. Pistachios." They say that their pistachios are "absolutely the biggest pistachios in the world."  Yeah, whatever.  That's such blatant marketing bullshittery that I hardly need to address it.

The "Open" part, though, I can agree with. In the whole 13-ounce bag, I think there were maybe three nuts that weren't split and open and ready to nom, and that is far fewer than I usually find in other nutsacks.  So, props to them for not making me bust my teeth trying to mouthcrack unsplit pistachios.

6 comments:

cecikierk said...

According to their website you can exchange an unopened one for a free bag. (Their website is terrible, it's under "Contact")

Leeanne said...

Wonder how many accidental hits you'll get from people searching for porn sites.

Andrew Green said...

I love those things!
The best package art ever.

Alan said...

I've had those and I also think they are a respectable product. Nothing compares to the red ones I had as a kid. They were marketed as Indian Nuts and came in a red box. The Pistachios were red and there was crystalized salt clinging to the open edges. Salt overload, but they were the best. Maybe every 10th one had a rotten, acrid taste that you had to spit out, but those oversalted ones had great flavor. Afterward you looked like the guy who pulled the fire alarm, with red dye all over your hands. Life was good before it became regulated...

Dave said...

@cecikierk - I'll have to check that out on their website. If they're really offering a free bag for an opened nut, that's a pretty sweet deal.

@Leeanne - Anything for a page view, y'know? LOL

@Andrew - Dude, you are so right. I love quirky graphics.

@Alan - When I was a kid, the only pistachios I ever saw were the ones that were dyed red. The first time I encountered naturally-colored pistachios, I barely recognized them. The red ones have pretty much faded in popularity now - must be something about the way they dye your fingers red - but they're still available. Just a little harder to find.

cecikierk said...

I heard back in the day pistachios were dyed red because we had to import them from the Middle East or India and their traditional harvesting method leaves the nuts mottled, retailers dye them red to hide the imperfections on the shell. Nowadays they are mostly grown in the US (I've even seen pistachios sold in China labeled as "American Pistachios", here's a picture: http://i.imgur.com/OvJXG.jpg) and we harvest them with machines doesn't damage the shells anymore.