That Fried Egg Photo

What is it with this picture?

It appears in tons of those "click bait" advertisements you see all over the web. In fact, it's possible that Google might sense the presence of it and present one of the pitches in an AdSense advertisement right on this page in the right-hand sidebar. 

The picture seems to have no origin. Doing a reverse-image search only brings up various ads. Examining the EXIF data embedded in the pictures yields no information at all.

And so, we have this picture of fried eggs - disgusting, overcooked, nasty-looking fried eggs - appearing here and there across the internet.  And I have no clue why an advertiser would choose this particular image for the products they sell.

Don't bother clicking on any of these.
They don't link to any shitty sales scams.

This seems to be the most common application of the picture right now: Some kind of mysterious "testosterone trick." What do eggs have to do with testosterone, anyway?  If eating eggs made men hairier or more muscular or grow a bigger dick, most guys would look like gorillas dragging a three-foot cock behind them like some veiny pink dragon tail. It's obvious that this frying pan full of ruined breakfasts isn't really the key to testoteronic mastery.

Especially when many more secret Man-Hormone-Trick advertisements are like this one, featuring attractive women who would appreciate a better "performance." 

Wilford Brimly would
be pleased.

But apparently, overfried poultry embryos are also the key to an odd trick that destroys diabetes. (It certainly would be odd if eating lots of eggs could destroy diabetes, I admit.)

I'm trying to figure out how a wrinkle solution would horrify a surgeon. Maybe if you grew an extra leg out of your back and the rest of your skin had to stretch to fit it. That would probably horrify a surgeon. And get you locked in a government lab for experimentation, too.

Italian people seem to associate fried eggs with unlikely medical benefits, too. This ad is wicked common on Italian websites. They use our eggy friends to advertise a miracle "Antidote to Obesity" which can help you lose 30 pounds a month from your belly, ass, and thighs.

It works in the US, too, though in the American version, we're told to "Eat more fat." Is that really necessary?

The Triumphant Return of Who Let You Cook?!

Lynnafred here.

I've been doing a lot of cooking lately. I've been making dinners, coming up with creative new lunches, and generally been spending a lot more time than should be normal in the kitchen. (Dave even told you all about my most recent baking rampage which resulted in two full batches of cookies, and two half batches of cookies, for well over 100 cookies total.)

So it should come as no surprise that when my friend and partner writer over at Lynnafred's Fashion Disasters, Nannerkins, stayed overnight because of the recent tornado, the first thing we did in the morning was look for something to eat. And what happens when the only things in the fridge are cheese, meat, eggs, and a green pepper? If you said omelet, you're close. But we were far too lazy for the whole "omelet" thing, so we went for dirty scrambled eggs instead.

"Dirty" scrambled eggs are one of our favorite morning snacks where we just take whatever we have in the fridge and throw it into our eggs. They're not pretty, but they taste delicious.

This one's got kielbasa, green peppers and cheese in it. The one below has ham, cheese, and green peppers in it.

They're a really easy thing to make in the morning (especially if you're omelet impaired, like Yours Truly over here.) I usually chuck the meat and veggies in the pan first to saute in the butter, then pour the eggs over the entire lot, and as they're cooking, add the cheese and mix it all up until the eggs are set and the cheese is melty. DELICIOUS!!

Making Hard Boiled Eggs Fun!

Remember back when we were talking about single-use appliances and kitchen gadgets?  Well, I found a single-use gadget that takes up so little room and is so ridiculous and fun to use that I had to buy it.  It's a hard-boiled egg mold - actually a pair of them - by Kotobuki of Japan, and they are a hoot.

The set I bought has two molds, one of a bunny head and the other a teddy bear head. Each will hold one (shelled) hard boiled egg snugly - so snugly, in fact, that when the egg is released from the mold, it holds the shape the mold impresses upon it.  I took a picture of the bunny mold in action and posted it at right.

I've had these things since February. They work really great and they're a lot of fun, especially if you have kids.  I haven't been able to find them locally, but they're available on Amazon for $3.99 for the pair, and I've supplied a link below if you want to check them out. Before you click over to buy them, though, there are a couple things I want to tell you about them.

First off, the instructions are in Japanese, so it isn't immediately obvious how to use them.  To get the bet results, you should peel the eggs when they are still rather hot.  Take them out of the pan, give them a quick rinse in cold water just long enough to make them handleable, and then peel them quickly.  Put the very warm egg into the mold, snap it closed around the egg, and then plunge the whole thing into cold water and let it sit for a few minutes to chill.  Putting the egg in hot and letting it chill before releasing it from the mold gives the best results and the egg will hold its shape better that way. Also, use a large egg.  Larger sizes will be way too big and even though the mold looks like it's on the small size, smaller egg sizes won't fill up the whole mold. 

Click here to go to the Amazon product page (Kotobuki Plastic Egg Mold, Rabbit and Bear.)

Breakfast with the Q: Quisp Cereal and a Quisp Omelet

If you're an old fart like me, you might have fond childhood memories of the original Quisp cereal. It was introduced in 1965 along with a companion cereal called Quake. Both of them were actually knock-offs of Cap'n Crunch - the same ingredients, flavor, and crunch as in the Cap'n, but in different shapes (Quisp was formed into little "flying saucers" and Quake was in the form of letter Qs.)  

Although eventually Quisp's popularity faded in the early 1970's and the cereal faded out of the national market, fans have long been nostalgic about it, and Quaker has never really pulled the plug on it.  Quisp has been available sporadically in test markets since the early 1980's, and it has also been "pop up marketed" by Quaker in an unusual way for a large corporation since the 1990's - A freestanding display would be set up in the cereal aisle of a supermarket, filled with boxes of Quisp, and remain until the display was sold out.  Quaker was able to keep interest in the cereal alive for quite awhile with this teasing sort of marketing unitl finally, in the early 2000s with the widespread use of this intertube doubleya-doubleya-doubleya-thing, Quisp became one of the first online-marketed cereals, consistently available through an online store.

I've always really like Quisp in no small part because, while it shares flavor and crunchability with Cap'n Crunch, it does not have the Cap'n's roof-of-the-mouth-destroying qualities (fans of Cap'n Crunch will know what I mean.)  I noticed the Quisp seemed to be returning to stores a couple of weeks ago, first appearing at the local Shop Rite and then showing up in Stop & Shop.  The box art references Quisp's reputation as a hard-to-find cereal, but also promises that it's going into wider distribution again, which is good news for fans.

It's also good news if you want to make a Quisp omelet.  Stop laughing.

Quisp Omelet
Serves 1

1 tablespoon butter
2 or 3 eggs as desired
Milk
Salt and pepper to taste
Mozzarella cheese
1/2 cup Quisp cereal

Melt butter in a skillet over medium-low heat until foamy.  Meanwhile, beat the eggs together with a splash of milk - just enough to temper the eggs, but not to dilute them.  Pour the eggs into the heated skillet and allow them to set slightly, pulling back the edges of the eggs to allow liquid egg to flow under the edges and start to cook.  Season the eggs to taste with salt and pepper.

When the eggs are starting to set and the top is getting tacky, sprinkle a line of mozzarella cheese down the center of the eggs.

Add half a cup of Quisp cereal.

Fold the sides of the omelet in to the center, wrapping the cereal and the cheese in a comfy blanket of egg.

Flip the omelet over briefly to cook the side with the fold, then remove to a plate and serve.

Enjoy your delicious Quisp omelet.

Ideally, the Quisp cereal should stay at least somewhat crunchy as it's folded into the omelet, but unfortunately the wet egg does have a bit of a tendency to seep in and soften the crunchiness out a bit.  Still, the sweetness of the Quisp lends a brown-sugar/honey sort of flavor to the omelet, which is really good served with sausage or ham.

Dunkin Donuts Big n Toasty

Photo by Dunkin' Donuts

Even though Dunkin' Donuts shops are all over the place (there are four of them in my hometown alone, for example) it might be a little hard for you to find their new Big N' Toasty breakfast sandwich. When I walked into the Dunkies around the corner from my house this morning at 7:00 to order one, the pleasant young lady behind the counter said, "You're just in time - we're just about sold out, and our delivery hasn't gotten here yet."  Apparently, Big N' Toasties are hugely popular, with many DD locations running out of them long before the morning rush is over. Looking at DD's promotional photo, it's easy to see why the sandwich is making such a splash - the A La Carte blog at CTnow.com remarked that with it's big golden slices of Texas Toast and stylized arrangement of bacon and cheese, the Big N' Toasty looked more like an offering from the Sonic menu than something available at Dunkies (home of the flavorless and remarkably unsatisfying egg-white flatbread sandwiches.)

That the actual sandwich doesn't quite live up to the gorgeously styled publicity shots isn't a big surprise - the meme of "fast food not looking like the ads" has been done to death and it's not even blogworthy anymore - but for all the petty differences, this is actually a fairly hearty but not at all overwhelming breakfast. Two small eggs over hard, four short strips of decent bacon, a slice of standard-issue Fast Food Orange Cheese and, of course, two thick slices of Texas Toast. If I were to have a quibble at all, it would be about the size of the "four strips" of bacon, which are really more like two strips cut in half.

Seriously, the promos and the media hype around the Big N' Toasty made me anticipate a sandwich so big that I thought I might be better off sharing it with someone. But the actual sandwich isn't anywhere near the massive OMG BREAKFAST FEAST I was led to expect. Rather, it was much more an appropriately-sized brekkie which is approximately the same size as one I'd be likely to eat on a weekend morning (egg, toast, couple strips of bacon.)  The difference here is that the toast is somewhat thicker and the eggs somewhat smaller than what I'd make at home.

No, really, the eggs are small. Look how thin they are, stacked on one another in this cross section.  Even the yolks are thin.  You know what?  With their perfectly-circlular eggs featuring perfectly-centered yolks and perfectly uniform thickness, it would not surprise me one bit if Dunkie's isn't using real cracked-from-the-shell eggs at all, but a factory-extruded egg product, pre-cooked in cylinders and then cut into uniform slices for reheating at point of sale. No shit, that is an actual food service item.  Why has no one else noticed this?? And as long as I'm asking rhetorical questions:  How is Dunkin' Donuts managing to fit 580 calories into this sandwich?

So, bottom line:  Weird eggs notwithstanding, a decent breakfast at a fair price, and it held me over well until lunch. Dunkin' Donuts might be onto something here.

Chickie Babies

What do you do when you're making deviled eggs and a couple of the eggs break stupidly when you're trying to peel them?

I gave them to my granddaughter Leslie, who added a few peppercorns and slivers of carrot to make baby "chicks."