I noticed a smallish sign dangling from the menu display at my local McDonald's last week: Add Bacon To Any Sandwich: 99 Cents. That has some serious potential for dietary abuse. Imagine, if you will, a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese and Bacon.
Though I rarely eat anything other than breakfast at McDonald's, that sign was still highly relevant to my interests. So this morning, when I stopped to pick up the best breakfast sandwich on the planet, a Sausage McMuffin With Egg, I decided to BACONIZE IT.
"Sausage McMuffin with Egg, please. And add bacon to it."
The woman behind the counter looked a little surprised. "You want to add bacon to that? Really?"
"Yes," I replied. "I'm crazy. Please do it or I will stand here and bark like a dog."
She laughed and keyed the order in.
I did not think it possible to improve upon a Sausage McMuffin with Egg. I was wrong. This sandwich was BORN TO BEAR BACON. The smoky umami of the bacon pairs perfectly with the egg, of course, but also highlights and enriches the already-outstanding flavor of the sausage. If you already like Sausage McMuffins with Egg, you should add bacon to it at least once to experience this awesomeness for yourself.
And McDonald's, I say to you: Offer a Sausage McMuffin With Bacon And Egg as a regular menu item. It's amazing (and I don't ever use that word lightly because it's trite and overplayed.) Just remember it was my idea and I'll expect at least a sweetly-loaded Arch Card for my troubles.