22 October, 2009

Sparkly <3 Vampire Sweethearts

Remember NECCO hearts? They're everywhere around Valentine's Day - especially here in New England, NECCO's home turf. Now - thanks to new owners who seem determined to squeeze every last nickle out of the franchise - there seem to be conversation hearts for everything. Including a version designed to appeal to fans of rather badly-written Mary Sue melodramas about chaste, sparkly vampires.

They're so damn ridiculous I hardly know where to begin mocking them. They come in "Forbidden Fruit" flavors (Tempting Apple, Secret Strawberry, Orange Obsession, and Passion Fruit) which have an overpowering musky aroma that kind of floods your senses when you dare to pop one in your mouth. Some of them are sparkly. And the box I bought actually has "2 of 3" on the upper right corner, so NECCO is marketing these as collectables. What a joke.

Dig the sayings on the hearts: "LIVE 4 EVER." "FORKS." "TRUST ME." "ALWAYS." "BAD GUY." "U R MY LIFE." "I ♥ EC"

And, my favorite:

1 comment:

Eating The Road said...

...and just when you thought Twilight or Sweethearts couldn't get any cheesier....nope, just combine the two. Sometimes I wonder about the people behind these things.

...well actually I don't blame them. When you've only have a few weeks out of the year to sell your product I could see want to expand that as much as possible. And using those vulnerable teenage girls to fatten their pockets is probably lucrative.