12 August, 2009

Gummies, Gooier Than Usual

It was a murderously hot and humid day yesterday. The digital thermometer across the street from the parking lot said 97 F. The car was closed up and locked and in the sun all day. Who knows how hot it got in the car?

The Gummies knew. Trapped together, shoulder to shoulder, rolled up in their plastic bag. They knew how hot it was in the car that day. They felt it. The temperature rose and the sugar slowly melted into their glistening skin, and their Gummi Grins turned into Nervous Uncomfortable Gummi Smiles as they found themselves first sticking to one another and then melting - fusing - flowing together as one! No! NOOOOOOOOO!!!

Their fear and horror and outrage were in vain, of course. No mere Gummi could withstand the wrath and fire of the angry star, and by the time help arrived it was too late. Their comfy plastic bag had become a coffin, sealed shut by the sticky mass of melted candy inside.

Don't leave a bag of gummies in a hot car.

1 comment:

J. Astro said...

That, sir, was the best eulogy for high-fructose corn syrup-based beings that I have ever borne witness to.