Ed Hardy Rocks: Highly Caffeinated Chocolates

Have you ever had chocolate-covered coffee beans?  Starbucks sells them, and so do a lot of other, smaller coffee shops.  Pop one in your mouth and you get delicious smooth chocolate, ability-enhancing caffeine, and a mouthful of nasty-assed coffee grinds, homemade by your very own teeth, which find their way to every nook and cranny of your mouth, providing you with endless opportunities to spit out cruddy black granules all day.  It's a great idea - directly-ingestible chocolate-flavored coffee nuggets - but a horrible execution.  (But feel free to tell me in the comments how much you love them and what an asshole I am.)

But there is a BETTER WAY:  Ed Hardy Highly Caffeinated Chocolates.  

Not too long ago, I got an email from Eat Hardy LLC, asking if I'd like a sample of their Ed Hardy Rocks caffeinated candy to try.  Soon, there were small boxes of little round nuggets in my mailbox.  Lynnafred, who is able to detect chocolate the way a bloodhound can detect a chain gang escapee, had placed the package on the dining room table and was still circling it when I got home from work.

"What are THESE?" she demanded in her Chocolate Voice.

"Chocolate Rocks and Coffee Rocks, caffeinated chocolates," I said. "Wanna try 'em?" Well, of course she wanted to try them, and so did I.

The Chocolate Rocks are smooth delicious chocolate, covered with a dark brown candy coating, and spiked with caffeine. Although firm enough to crunch when bitten, there's no graininess to the chocolate, which melts deliciously in the mouth with a rich flavor somewhere between milk and dark chocolate.  Coffee Rocks are similar, but with a flavor more like mocha-tinged espresso, deep and slightly bitter.  Lynnafred chose the Chocolate as her favorite; I was more partial to the coffee. Either way, they're high-quality confectionary, and you can enjoy them without filling your mouth with coffee grounds like some old percolator basket.

And what about the caffeine, you ask?  Well, five Rocks carry the gentle eye-opening properties of a single cup of Joe, but there are more than five Rocks in a box.  I forget just how many, unfortunately, but let's just say it's a good-sized handful.  And the people at Eat Hardy LLC are refreshingly up-front with their nutritional information.  They know that most people aren't going to stop at five candies, especially when using them as a delicious way to pull an all-nighter, so they come right out and say that the serving size is "1 box."  Good for them, it's about time there was some common sense out there.

Yes, these are totally eye-opening and awesome. You can find them, I presume, at any of the Ed Hardy stores sprinkled around the country, or you can order them online (click here.)