Meme for a Monday Morning

So, there's this "twenty-questions" sort of meme floating around the blogosphere lately, and Michele at Life, Lightly Salted nudged it over in my direction. If you're squeamish, skip over the "What won't you eat?" question, in which I explain the reason why I will not eat eels.

Sweet or salty?
Both, but with a slight tip of the balance to the salty side. (Salt and sweet is a killer combination, though - off the top of my head I can think of Mo's Bacon Chocolate Bar, and some fantastic Salted Butter Ice Cream I had in Northampton MA.)

Which ingredient(s) do you use most?
Onions, thyme, pepper.

What’s the cooking sound you most love?
That hissing, splorshy sound that hot coffee makes when you pour it into a mug.

What’s your favorite cooking smell?
Wood smoke.

What are the qualities you most admire in a dish?
Fresh local ingredients, honest and uncomplicated preparation.

What is your most treasured possession in the kitchen?
My Zojirushi electric skillet.

What is a dirty word in your kitchen?
Rutabaga.

What are afraid to do in the kitchen?

Baking is the weakest of my culinary skills. I've never been able to successfully make a cake from scratch, so I just stopped trying. That being said, however, I'm not "afraid" to do anything in the kitchen.

What won’t you eat?

Eels. I once helped recover the body of a drowning victim from a local river. The body had been in the water for some time, and there were eels...in it. For a long time, I saw that corpse and the eels in my sleep. Sometimes I still do.

Have you ever lost your appetite for a food you once loved?
Offhand, I can't think of any.

Have you ever had a change of heart involving a food you once disliked?
Oh, absolutely - who hasn't? Green olives; raw shellfish; lobster tomalley - just to name a few - are all foods I hated as a kid, but love as an adult.

If you could choose one historical or living cook to make you a meal right now, who and what would it be?

Gordon Ramsay, and it would be "Chef's Choice" (i.e. the meal is up to him.) But I'd also like to reciprocate and invite Chef Ramsay to a genuine New England clambake, in late summer when the native sweet corn is at its peak and the new potatoes are being harvested in Maine.

Who are your favorite cookbook authors/food writers?
MFK Fisher has been my literary crush for years. But I also get a big kick out of the sarcastic, opinionated wiseassery of the late Richard Gehman (author of The Haphazard Gourmet.)

What is your favorite food-related word?
Macerate. Because it sounds rude. "Heh heh hehheh m heh heh yeah. He said, 'macerate.' "

What is your favorite food-related scene from literature or the movies?
James Cagney and Mae Clark in 1931's Public Enemy.

What’s your favorite food-shopping errand or journey?
Shopping at A. Dong Supermarket, my local full-service Asian market.

To which country would you move for the food?
I would love to visit more countries and experience their cuisine. But I'm perfectly happy to stay right here in New England for the food.

What’s your poison?
Single malt, neat.

What’s your standard outfit in the kitchen?
I usually wear a black T-shirt and jeans (my daughter once said that I was like a cartoon character because I always wore the same thing.) In the kitchen, I supplement this Real Life Uniform with a striped apron.

You wish to die with what in your stomach?
Steely resolve.

If heaven exists, what do you hope they have on the menu?
If heaven exists, anything I want will be on the menu. Otherwise it wouldn't be heaven.

If you came back as a fruit or a vegetable, which one would it be?
A carrot. Specifically, Flaming Carrot.

What are you craving right now?
A bowl of good New England clam chowder.